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   %FEAR REJECTION ISOLATE AFFECTIVE COMMUNITY LOVE 910208

     Perhaps the  greatest  fear of all  is  the  fear  of
affective  rejection  and  subsequent isolation  from  the
community of love.   Humans evolved through the success of
the bonded community,  not as individuals.  Rejection from
the affectively bonded community was and is tantamount  to
death by execution.  All else might be sacrificed to avoid
such  rejection  and isolation with the curse  of  a  slow
death  in alienation.   Those who did not make  the  great
sacrifices  to maintain affective bonding did not  survive
and  did  not  reproduce  their own  kind.    We  are  the
descendants  of those who were willing to make  sacrifices
to maintain affective bonding and it is our instinct to do
so.  Thus we fear affective rejection, isolation and death
by affective deprivation.

     What   provided   assurance  of   survival   in   the
environment dominated  by  other  predatory animals,   now
threatens to assure  the extinction of our species when we
are our  own worst threat.

     The techniques used to assure affective  bonding  and
retention,  now have become techniques which often lead to
mutual manipulation,  alienation and affective  rejection.
When  dishonesty  is used as a manipulative  technique  to
maintain affective bonding,  it guarantees the failure  of
technology  by  preventing technology from achieving   its
goal; the goal of affective bonding.

    Dishonesty  undermines  affective  bonding.     Inter-
personal  manipulation  designed to  prevent  manipulative
rejection often leads to manipulative rejection.    Inter-
personal deception designed to assure acceptance, does the
opposite and leads to rejection in instances where love is
absent;  i.e., in virtually all instances where people are
inclined   to  use inter-personal deception to attempt  to
achieve affective acceptance.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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