This is http://www.essayz.com/a9008101.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %POWER ADDICT ALCOHOLIC HONEST INFLUENCE RECOVER 900810 The first step of the twelve steps of recovery programs for addicts and codependents focuses upon admitting to being powerless over the process which is central to the addiction. That is a very difficult step. Why? Taking the step deals with the confusion which is central to the addiction processes. When in the midst of the addiction processes confusion is a major feature of the processes. Taking the first step of the twelve step programs is a step out of the confusion; but what is the nature of the step taken? Is the nature of the step that of saying that there is nothing which the addict or codependent can do to deal with the addiction processes? That cannot be the case, because taking the first step of the twelve step programs is something which the addict or codependent can do and often does do! Nobody else can do it for them. Is the nature of the first step that of saying that everything depends upon what others do; that the situation is one of total dependency? That cannot be the case for the same reason as before. What then is the nature of the first step? It is a step out of dishonesty towards the recovery of honesty. The essence of the first step is making an effort to return to integrative processes through honest efforts. It is a re-dedication to being oneself by working to be authentic and honest; to stop pretending that recovery through one's own will power and effort is possible. Addicts and codependents have the power to try to be honest, painful and hard as such efforts may be. Addicts and codependents do not have the power to control all aspects of their behavior, or the consequences which flow from their behavior. However, central to addictive processes is the habit of pretending to have more control over one's own behavior and over the consequences of one's own behavior than one really has; i.e., being dishonest about the extent of one's own power to be in control. The first step of the twelve step programs is thus a step towards being honest about whether one is or can be in control over one's own or other people's behavior, or over the consequences thereof. Central is the issue of honesty. After taking that first step there may yet be confusion over how much influence the addict or codependent may have over their own efforts, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. There may yet be confusion about just what real power is, and about how much power of what kind the addict or codependent may have. It should be clear that the first step of the twelve step programs is not a dishonest step. It is not a step in which a false affirmation is made. In the confusion of addiction and codependence it may appear that the twelve step program is urging that recovery can begin with a false statement. It should be made clear that the first step has to do with recovering through efforts to be honest about what real power is, and what kinds of power and how much power the addict and codependent have. The real power which people have is not the power to fully and perfectly control their own attitudes, feelings, thoughts, desires, fears, behaviors, consequences; or those of other persons. It is the power to try to be honest with self and others about self and others. Real power is the power to seek reflexive honesty, rather than the power to control. The power of the addict and codependent is the power to try to shift intentions, to change values and ideals, when present ideals and values persistently lead to personal and communal disintegration. The power of the addict and codependent is the power to seek to get in touch with their own experiences; to know themselves honestly. It is not the power to control their own experiences or to control another person's experiences. The power of the addict and codependent is not the power to be successful in personal manipulations and disciplinary actions. It is not the power to achieve perfection in any conformal process. It is not the power to conform oneself (or anybody else) to any ideal pattern of thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, or achievements. The first step of the twelve step programs is thus an effort to regain clarity and honesty about what powers we do have, and what powers we do not have---by trying to be clear and honest about what the natures of our real and imaginary powers. It may help us to take that first step if we first clarify what the nature of what the first step is, and what it is not. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================