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   %CONFLICT CLARIFICATION RESOLUTION HONEST ISSUES 900806

     Conflict  resolution often depends in important  ways
upon  conflict  clarification.   If  there  is   confusion
regarding  what the nature of a conflict is,  it  is  then
difficult  to  resolve  the  conflict.   It  is  therefore
important   to  recognize  the  ways  in  which   conflict
clarification may be achieved.  How conflict clarification
may  be  achieved  of  course  flows  from  what  conflict
clarification depends upon.

     Conflict clarification depends upon:

1.  The    availability  of  honest   and   accurate
information  to  all  victims of the  conflict,   and  the
withholding of no relevant information.

2.  A  clear  understanding by all  victims  of  the
conflict  of  the natural connections  between  cause  and
effects of their victimization.

3.  Clarity  in  the minds of  all  victims  of  the
conflict   regarding   the  difference   between   natural
consequences and dishonest contrived consequences,

4.  An  open awareness and  understanding   of   the
vested interests of the participants in the conflict,

5.  A    clear    and    honest   understanding   by
all  participants of all their differing ideals,   values,
goals, principles, etc.

6.  Clarity    regarding   real   versus    apparent
conflicts,   among  the various ideals,   values,   goals,
principles, etc.

7.  Clarity   regarding  the  motivations  for   and
natures  of  the patterns of addictive,   codependent  and
collusive behaviors of participants in the conflict.

8.  Clarity    regarding   the   inter-relationships
between  affective   and  cognitive  behaviors,    between
emotions  and rationalizations.

9.  Clarity   regarding  the    difference   between
winning a conflict, and resolving a conflict.

     10.  Clarity   regarding  the  different  levels   of
importance  of various values,  ideals,  principles,  etc.
within various contexts.

     In   the  presence  of  confusion,    most   conflict
resolution is impossible.  Through the development of open
and honest clarity regarding the nature of a conflict,  it
becomes possible to resolve the conflict.

     It is for this reason that collusions, addictions and
codependent  processes work to promote confusion,  crises,
dishonesty,   secrecy,  and the related realities  of  the
disintegrative community.

     Fundamental conflicts exist between:

1.  Honesty and dishonesty

2.  Clarity and confusion

3.  Openness and secrecy

4.  Sharing and keeping

5.  Knowledge and ignorance

6.  Connectedness and alienation

7.  Trust and suspicion

8.  Resolution and winning

9.  Confession and repression

     10.  Cooperation and control

     11.  Creativity and conformity

     12.  Acceptance and rejection

     13.  Love and estrangement

     14.  Integration and disintegration

     Collusions, addictions and codependencies work to tip
the  balance in favor of the disintegrative pole  of  each
conflict.   Love  works  to tip the balance  in  favor  of
integrative poles of each conflict. In each instance there
is in a paradoxical way a need for balance between the two
poles  of the conflict.  Conflict resolution does not call
for  one  pole  of any conflict being  in  a  position  of
dominance over the other pole of the conflict. Dichotomies
and  their  associated conflicts result  when  a  contrary
assumption is made.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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