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  %HEALTHY ADDICT CODEPEND NEED DESIRE DRIVE MOTIVE 900619

     It is important to distinguish between healthy traits
and addictive/codependent traits  such as:  needs, drives,
desires,   motivations,  emotions,  attitudes,  logic  and
reasoning.

     In  a society which has become addictive in  systemic
ways  it  is difficult for members of the society to  make
such   important   distinctions   between   healthy    and
addictive/codependent traits.   The  addictive/codependent
traits appears to be  normal in a systematically addictive
society.

     Political  leaders and the leaders  in  universities,
colleges,   schools,  and  churches  are  often  prone  to
demonstrate   the   central  characteristics  of   addicts
pertaining to control, manipulation,  dishonesty, dualism,
confusion,   forgetfulness,  etc.   In the  extreme  cases
addictive     and/or    codependent     leaders     become
dictators/tyrants  who may be malicious or  paternalistic,
and  may  or  may not lead their nation into  the  extreme
violence of  military  war  or economic domination without
respect for personal and communal integrity.

     In  each such  case  it  is  important  not  to   get
compulsively  engaged in the conflicts of the addicts  and
the codependents; and if involved, to detach as creatively
as possible.   Any preoccupation with  the games of mutual
self   deception  and  manipulation  of  the  addicts  and
codependents  leads  to becoming  like them;  even if  the
effort  is an effort to defeat them at their own games  by
playing   their  game better than they do.  To  play their
games in an  effort to defeat them is to become like them.
They cannot be defeated  through  the  use  of dishonesty,
violence,    coercion,   manipulation,   or  any  form  of
technology.    Their  games  can  be  transcended  through
following   the  ways  of  various  twelve  step  recovery
programs by which we may detach  from  the ways of addicts
and   codependents.     Such   creative   ways   lead   to
reconciliation of conflicts and people,  not to winning of
battles  which lead to the continuation of the  conflicts,
of which the present battles are but passing episodes.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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