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 %MASOCHISTIC SUFFER SERVANT LOW SELF ESTEEM REJECT 900619

     Some people of low self esteem are so unsure of their
own  worth  that they think when they are  not  suffering,
that  they are not doing their duty as suffering servants;
and are no good.

     Such people seek out  situations in which doing their
duty will lead to suffering which will help then  to  know
that   they  are  worthy  of  acceptance.    Pleasure   is
unacceptable,    and  people  who  let  themselves   enjoy
pleasure   are   regarded  as  not  worthy   of   personal
acceptance.
Suffering   is   to  them  the  badge   of   acceptability
and  admiration.    They are  suffering  codependents  who
encourage  their  beneficiary  victims  to continue to  be
dependent   people   who  cannot  take  healthy  care   of
themselves.

     Low  self  esteem  entails self  rejection  which  is
related  to  the  rejection of  self  by  others;   either
actively,  or else passively through neglect by those  who
might  have  reasonably  been expected  to  show  positive
attention   and   give   positive   affirmation.      Such
active/passive  rejection  in childhood can have  profound
consequences to the emotional life of the adult who is the
emotional offspring of the child.   The adult years may be
dominated  by  compulsively  seeking to relive/resolve the
unresolved  dilemmas  of the child  who was  not  properly
accepted and affirmed as a whole person.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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