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 %IDEAL VALUE BELIEF MEANS GOOD EVIL CONTROL ADDICT 900617

     Evil  uses  can be made even of ideals,   values  and
beliefs which are themselves worthy of respect  because of
the  ways  in  which  they point the way to  personal  and
communal integrity and truth.

     The  manipulative  addict  seeks to make use  of  all
available  means  to try to control others.   The  ideals,
values and beliefs of a person can be used as "handles" by
which  to manipulate the person.   Appeals can be made  to
the  person  to be faithful to their ideals,   values  and
beliefs---to  motivate  the  person to behave in  one  way
rather  than  another.   The skillful addict can use  such
appeals  to  mislead a person by making  such  appeals  in
carefully   selected   contexts  with   carefully   chosen
misleading suggestions.

     Not  all  appeals to respectable ideals,  values  and
beliefs  are  appeals which are worthy of respect.    Some
such appeals are manipulative appeals designed to  control
people who take the ideals,   values and beliefs seriously
without  regard to context.   It is important to  look  at
ideals,   values and beliefs  within  the  total   context
of  the present; keeping in mind who is present,  and what
may be motivating  their presentations of appeals.    Will
being led by present appeals to ideals,  values and ideals
actually lead to the enhancement  of personal and communal
integrity?    Or  to disintegration?

     We  are particularly vulnerable to misleading appeals
which remind us of our primary ideals, values and beliefs.
If we believe we should be generous, the addict can appeal
to our belief in generosity to get us to lift the addict's
ordinary  burdens in ways which burden us in extraordinary
ways.   If we believe we should work hard to do well,  the
addict  can  encourage us to seek an impossible  level  of
perfection in ways which serve the addict's purposes.   If
we  believe  that with God all things are  possible,   the
addict  can  mislead us to attempt to  achieve  levels  of
control  which are impossible to us;  leading us to  think
that we can make achievements be possible to us, by trying
to  associate  ourselves with God for whom all things  are
possible.     There are endless possibilities for  addicts
to  create  misleading  appeals to our ideals,  values and
belief.

     If  we  idolize  any system of  ideals,   values  and
beliefs  we thereby become particularly vulnerable to  the
manipulations  of addicts and codependents;  for addictive
words of manipulation may appear to us to be the voice  of
God  calling  us  to be His faithful  servants,   when  in
reality  the addicts are manipulating us into being  their
faithful  servants.    Any system which prescribes how  we
must  behave  in  certain  situations  gives  addicts  the
means   for   manipulating   us   by   manipulating    our
situation.   Any system which we agree to let control  us,
can become the means  by  which addicts can systematically
control us.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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