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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SPIRIT SEX RELATION TRUST RISK LOVE POWER JUSTICE 900330 The health of sexual relationships depends upon healthy spirituality. In the presence of healthy spirituality people are free to be vulnerable in intimate honesty; so healthy sexual relationships are likely to develop. It is natural for healthy spirituality and healthy sexuality to go hand in hand. It is unnatural to separate spiritual considerations from sexual considerations; yet that which is unnatural is common. Participants in healthy sexual relationships exercise their power truthfully with loving concern for preserving balance and justice. In the absence of balance and justice people are not free to take the risks which are central to healthy sexual relationships; the joys of secure vulnerability are replaced by fear, and defensive attempts to be invulnerable. In the absence of healthy spirituality and balanced interest in personal and communal integrity, people do not feel free to reveal themselves in uninhibited responsiveness, and healthy sexual relationships are unthinkable, regarded with embarrassment. People who are insecure and defensive are likely to try to achieve control over sexuality in vain efforts to avoid vulnerability. In the absence of healthy spirituality it is likely that people will be unable to enjoy healthy sexual relationships so long as they are defensive and manipulative, trying to achieve what they yearn for. The pleasures of healthy sexuality are not achieved through great effort and sophisticated techniques; they are enjoyed within the context of healthy attitudes and spirituality which revolves around integrative ideals and values, which lead in turn to unconditional giving and acceptance in dialogue. People trapped within addictive and codependent relationships are confused and cannot understand why it is that they cannot enjoy what they do achieve, and why it is that they cannot achieve enough to bring satisfaction. They try harder and harder to achieve whatever they regard as the prerequisite to satisfaction, enjoyment and fulfillment; but never seem to be able to get it all together. Their spiritual life is non-existent and/or confused, and their efforts are usually misguided, even though they may be frantic and technically very sophisticated. They worship false idols which lead them into dishonest relationships that do not bring real satisfaction or security with meaningful vulnerability. Healthy sexuality is not achieved through great effort or technology. Healthy sexuality is accepted and enjoyed as a gift which is received without conditions within the context of communities and relationships characterized by integrity and healthy spirituality. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================