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 %SPIRIT SEX RELATION TRUST RISK LOVE POWER JUSTICE 900330

     The  health  of  sexual  relationships  depends  upon
healthy   spirituality.    In  the  presence  of   healthy
spirituality people are free to be vulnerable in  intimate
honesty;   so healthy sexual relationships are  likely  to
develop.    It  is natural for  healthy  spirituality  and
healthy sexuality to go hand in hand.   It is unnatural to
separate    spiritual    considerations    from     sexual
considerations; yet that which is unnatural is common.

     Participants in healthy sexual relationships exercise
their power truthfully with loving concern for  preserving
balance  and  justice.    In the absence  of  balance  and
justice  people are not free to take the risks  which  are
central  to  healthy sexual relationships;   the  joys  of
secure    vulnerability   are  replaced  by  fear,     and
defensive attempts to be invulnerable.

     In  the absence of healthy spirituality and  balanced
interest  in  personal and communal integrity,  people  do
not   feel      free    to    reveal     themselves     in
uninhibited    responsiveness,    and   healthy     sexual
relationships     are   unthinkable,       regarded   with
embarrassment.    People who  are   insecure and defensive
are   likely    to   try    to  achieve   control     over
sexuality  in  vain  efforts   to avoid vulnerability.

     In  the absence of healthy spirituality it is  likely
that  people  will  be  unable  to  enjoy  healthy  sexual
relationships   so   long  as  they  are   defensive   and
manipulative,  trying to achieve what they yearn for.  The
pleasures  of healthy sexuality are not  achieved  through
great  effort  and  sophisticated  techniques;   they  are
enjoyed  within  the  context  of  healthy  attitudes  and
spirituality  which revolves around integrative ideals and
values,    which lead in turn to unconditional giving  and
acceptance in dialogue.

     People  trapped  within  addictive  and   codependent
relationships are confused and cannot understand why it is
that they cannot enjoy what they do achieve, and why it is
that  they  cannot achieve enough to  bring  satisfaction.
They try harder and harder to achieve whatever they regard
as   the  prerequisite  to  satisfaction,   enjoyment  and
fulfillment;   but  never  seem to be able to get  it  all
together.    Their  spiritual life is non-existent  and/or
confused,  and  their  efforts are usually misguided, even
though   they   may  be  frantic  and   technically   very
sophisticated.    They worship false idols which lead them
into  dishonest  relationships  that  do  not  bring  real
satisfaction or security with meaningful vulnerability.

     Healthy  sexuality  is  not  achieved  through  great
effort or technology.   Healthy sexuality is accepted  and
enjoyed  as  a gift which is received  without  conditions
within   the  context  of  communities  and  relationships
characterized by integrity and healthy spirituality.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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