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  %FULFILL EXPECTATION KNOWLEDGE DESIRE IDEAL VALUE 891105

     If  we  live  our lives in terms the  fulfillment  of
expectations,  we need to know the expectations;  be  they
our  own  expectations of ourselves,  or be  they  others'
expectations of us.

     If we try to live our lives in terms of expectations,
and have poor knowledge of the expectations;  we are bound
to live confused and probably poor lives.

     If we try to live our lives in terms of expectations,
and  have well defined knowledge of precise  expectations;
we  are  bound to live our lives in the prisons  of  those
well defined expectations,  and in the prison of the guilt
and  shame  we experience due to our failures  to  fulfill
such expectations.

     If we try to live our lives in terms of expectations,
and   have   reliable  knowledge   of   ambiguous/changing
expectations;   we are bound to live lives of  frustration
and  uncertainty,   because the essence of  our  being  is
defined by ambiguity without roots.

     Expectations  may be our own or the  expectations  of
other  people;   either  way  we  may  become  victims  of
inappropriate expectations.

     Too often expectations coerce people who seek to live
their lives in terms of expectations which are experienced
as  demands  made  upon them to achieve  goals  which  are
defined  without regard for their own unique being.   Such
people are not free to fulfill their own unique  potential
to  be  creative people with personal integrity  which  is
expressive of their special abilities,  interests, desires
and hopes.

     Expectations which coerce from outside the being of a
person   cannot  engender  personal  integrity.   Personal
integrity  grows  through  the honest  expression  of  the
unique  potentials  and desires which flow from  a  person
being  themselves  in ways which show  respect  for  other
people  seeking to be themselves in honest ways;   and  so
shows  respect for and promotes communal integrity without
coercive expectations.

     We  need  to be careful about what we expect of  each
other  and  of  ourselves.  The form  and  manner  of  our
expectations can be coercive and destructive, if we expect
anything  of ourselves and each other which is other  than
personal  integrity and the authenticity which flows  from
within   our   individual  beings.   By  seeking   to   be
authentically ourselves, rather than by seeking to fulfill
expectations, we can fulfill with integrity much more than
might  reasonably  be  expected.  We cannot  fulfill  with
integrity  that  much,   if  we expect  it  coercively  of
ourselves  or each other.  Through the power of Love which
does  not  coercively  expect much of  us,   much  becomes
possible, because in Love we are free to be ourselves with
personal  integrity within the context of a  community  of
integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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