This is http://www.essayz.com/a8910171.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
 %CHURCH TEACH LOVE CARE SELF CODEPEND ADDICT LEARN 891017

     Many  churches teach that we should love and care for
others,   but few churches teach in a balanced way that we
should  properly love and care for ourselves;  so that  we
will not become a burden upon others.

     The   result of the neglect of   balanced   teachings
about loving and caring for ourselves within many churches
is  that  we  are encouraged to support addicts  in  their
attitudes  and  habits.   Thus  many  good  people  become
dishonest  codependent rescuers of addicts who  refuse  to
learn from their mistakes.

     It  is  not  easy to  distinguish  between  authentic
loving  care  and  imprudent codependent  care,   but  the
difference  is of great importance.  We need to give  more
attention  to recognizing the difference  between  healthy
care and unhealthy care.  We need to learn, teach,  and be
taught  how to see the signs of healthy care and the signs
of diseased care.

     Diseased  care  is  often motivated by  a  desire  to
attract  care for and about us which we have been deprived
of  in  our childhood,  but which deprivation we have  not
learned to acknowledge and mourn.

     Diseased codependent care often engages in misleading
behavior  and  often avoids open and honest discussion  of
fears, desires, motivations and personal experiences.

     Diseased   codependent  care  often  entails   subtle
efforts  to  gain  control  of  that  which  can  not   be
controlled.

     Diseased  care  is  often unable to let go  of  those
cared  for;   it  often  entails  attitudes  of  exclusive
possession, ownership, control, etc.

     Healthy   care  liberates those who are cared for  to
take care of themselves,  according to their own needs and
desires.

     Healthy  care  is open and honest,  seeking  dialogue
regarding  fears,   desires,   motivations  and   personal
experiences.

     Healthy   care  is  disinterested  in   control   and
interested in liberation.

     Healthy   care   is   characterized   by   liberating
compassion, inclusive fellowship, honest, cooperation, and
offering alternative opportunities.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================