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 %GETTING TO YES AFFIRM TABOO INTEGRATIVE PRINCIPLE 890518

     Love  seeks  ways  of getting  to  yes  in  affirming
integrative  principles which will lead those  who  affirm
such  principles  out  of  addictive  prisons  which   are
maintained  by  the addictive collusions of their  addicts
and codependent residents.

     Love does not seek to manipulate,  coerce,   control,
overwhelm  or  otherwise do violence to the  defenders  of
collusive   taboos  which  are  contrary  to   integrative
principles.   Violent  confrontations only  intensify  the
defense of the taboos which are offensively violated.

     In   place  of  violent  confrontations  which  would
intensify the defense of collusive taboos, Love seeks ways
of getting to yes in affirming the integrative  principles
which  will  lead those who affirm such principles out  of
the   addictive  prisons  which  are  maintained  by   the
addictive   collusions   of  their  innate   addicts   and
codependents.

     The   processes  of  maintaining  such  prisons   are
reflexive  processes which cannot be understood  by  their
objective  residents.  The process of escaping from  those
prisons involve taboo reflexive processes which can not be
understood  by residents who are compulsively dedicated to
exclusively objective processes.

     Escaping  from  the collusive prison  of  exclusively
objective  processes  is an essentially reflexive  process
which  violates the taboos of the prison and its  inmates.
The  principles  for carrying out such an  escape  may  be
agreed  upon  without engaging in a violent conflict  over
defense of the prison's collusive taboos.

     Getting  to Yes regarding the integrative  principles
which are violated by the collusive taboos,  throws  light
into  the prison,  and helps the prisoners  recognize  the
imprisoning nature of their residence.

     Only  when  the  inmates  recognize  the  imprisoning
nature of their prison paradigm are they likely to want to
escape.  So long as they are defending the walls of  their
residence viewed as their home,  they cannot leave home to
explore the territory around it.  So long as the residents
of  the  paradigm  cannot explore  alternatives  to  their
paradigm, they are prisoners of their paradigm.

     When  the  residents  of one paradigm  are  violently
attacked by the residents of an alternative paradigm, both
sets  of  residents are bound to defend  their  respective
prisons.

     Such  violent  attacks  are  unlikely  to  help   any
residents  to  escape the limitations of  their  collusive
dedication  to  the defense of the  exclusivity  of  their
paradigm.

     Love  can lead those residents of a paradigm who have
come  to  recognize  its limitations,  to help  its  other
residents   to  Get  to  Yes  regarding  the   integrative
principles  which are violated by the collusive taboos  of
the  prison,  and so help the prisoners to  recognize  the
imprisoning  nature  of  the  residence  which  they   are
defending.

     Such integrative processes are essentially reflexive,
profoundly  affecting  the lives of the residents  of  the
exclusive  prisons.  Integrative processes are essentially
reflexive  and confront the exclusive paradigms of  people
who are dedicated to exclusive objectivity.  Love leads to
integrative  processes  which are not alienative  because:
integrative   processes   are   not  violent,    are   not
manipulative,   are  not coercive,  do not seek to  be  in
control,   and so seek to promote open and honest dialogue
with gifts of security.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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