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   %CONTEXT ACCEPT MEANING REAL LOVE SECURITY TRUST 890414

     The  meaning  of an offering  of  real  love  depends
greatly upon the context within which the love is offered.
The  person who offers real love cannot fully control  the
context within which the offer is made, for the context is
defined  by  the full range of  previous  experiences  and
responses of the person to whom the offer is made.

     Because  of the context in which a real offer of love
is  made,   the offer may be perceived as something  quite
different than what it really is. The offer as experienced
may be threatening in ways beyond the understanding to the
person making the real offer of love. In intimate personal
relationships   perceptions  are  realities;    meaningful
relationships   are   possible  only  when  there   is   a
significant  level of congruity in the perceptions of  the
people who are involved with each other.

     Perceptions can fail to be congruent due to a lack of
common  previous  experience,  due to different habits  of
mind and heart, due to differences in meanings assigned to
words  and/or actions,  different values and  ideals  etc.
Perceptions depend upon the context of all such realities.
Thus  the  meaning  of an offering of  real  love  depends
greatly upon the context within which the love is offered.

     Individuals cannot control the contexts within  which
love  is  offered;  thus,  individuals cannot control  the
effect of offerings of real love.

     Contexts depend in real ways upon communal  realities
which  play  significant  roles in setting the  stage  for
intimate  personal relationships.  Communal patterns  have
great  power  for  good or ill in  creating  the  contexts
within which real offers of love are perceived,   accepted
and/or rejected.

     Personal and communal integrity depends greatly  upon
the  contexts  which  communal habits of  mind  and  heart
create.  To deal with personal and communal disintegration
it  will  be helpful to understand the ways in  which  the
acceptance and/or rejection of real offers of love depends
upon communal habits of mind and heart.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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