This is http://www.essayz.com/a8904081.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ACCEPT OWN KNOW COPE TABOO EXPERIENCE FORGIVE 890408 We can not in a healthy way know, own and cope with taboo experiences for which we are rejected by other people who are significant to us. When we are inhibited from accepting such experiences as our own, we are motivated to play games of mutual self deception regarding such experiences. Such games in turn inhibit the possibility of our wisely coping with those experiences which we cannot honestly own as our own. Rejection of us by others who feel threatened by our own experiences, leads us to reject our own experiences as if they were not our own; and to be dishonest with ourselves regarding our own experiences. Such dishonesty undermines the possibility of wisely coping with our own experiences. Through such dishonesty we lose our integrity, we disintegrate. The inability to accept people who own their own experiences, leads to their inability to cope with their own experiences in an informed and wise way. To not be free to know yourself leads to ignorance about yourself, and so to foolish behavior. It is thus important to find ways to learn how to accept as real, those experiences which we experience as threatening and embarrassing. People who cannot face, forgive and move beyond threatening experiences are imprisoned by such experiences. They are preoccupied with that which they cannot face, forgive and move beyond. Their repressed memories of such experiences haunt them and undermine their integrity. People who cannot forgive thus tend to disintegrate. It is not only the people who are not forgiven who suffer; the people who cannot forgive suffer disintegration also. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================