This is http://www.essayz.com/a8904071.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
        %MEANINGLESS REACTIONS TO ADDICTIVE CONTROL 890407

     Often people try to control each other to elicit from
each other desired conformal behavior.  Such efforts  seek
compensation  for a perceived lack of meaningful responses
to  personal  presence.  The person who does not  perceive
themselves  to  be  honestly  loved  will  often  try   to
manipulate  others  into  behaving properly  in  dishonest
ways. Propriety is divorced from honesty.

     Such   manipulative   efforts   inevitably   generate
personally meaningless reactions,  rather than  meaningful
personal responses.

     The  personal meaning of a response depends upon  the
freedom  of  the  respondent.   If  the  behavior  of  the
"respondent"   is  not  authentically  free,   it  is  not
meaningful  in the way it would be were  it  authentically
free.   If Jack manipulates Jill into behaving as  if  she
loved  Jack,   then Jill's behavior is  not  authentically
meaningful.   For  Jill's  behavior  to  be  authentically
meaningful  to Jack,  she must be free to behave in  other
ways; yet freely chose to behave in spontaneously intimate
ways.

     To elicit meaningful responses from others we need to
invite them to be responsive; we need to avoid any hint of
trying to get them to behave in any particular way.  If we
know  how we want them to behave,  and try to get them  to
behave as we want them to behave, then we cannot expect to
receive  meaningful response from them;  we are much  more
likely to get a disappointing reaction from them.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================