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   %BEING RESPONSIBLE OTHER ADDICTS CODEPEND AUTHOR 890211

     It  is  important to be clear about  the  essence  of
responsibility and accountability.

     The  essence  of  responsibility is  the  ability  to
respond honestly with regard to actions taken;  indicating
what motivated the actions taken.

     The  essence  of  accountability is  the  ability  to
honestly  account  for  actions  taken;   indicating  what
motivated the actions taken.

     Responsibility  and  accountability have to  do  with
open and honest communication;  open and honest reporting.
They  have to do with being able to be open and honest  in
reporting.

     People who are playing collusive games of mutual self
deception  cannot conceive of or understand the nature  of
responsibility  and  accountability.   They  conceive   of
responsibility  and  accountability  in  terms  of  mutual
manipulation, not in terms of mutual openness and honesty.

     In  the  hands  of the manipulations of  addicts  and
their   supportive   codependents   the   conceptions   of
responsibility  and accountability,  are turned into rules
governing  rights of mutual manipulation.  In place of the
intimacy  of  open and honest communication  of  authentic
responsibility  and  accountability,   addicts  and  their
codependents conceive of and make real (realize) rites and
rituals  of mutual manipulation.  In the process of  their
disintegration they manipulate the rules which govern  the
rites  which  replaced the original rites of knowing  each
other    in   open   and   honest    responsibility    and
accountability.    Such   processes  are   confusing   and
disintegrative;  entailing much insecurity, defensiveness,
coercion, manipulation and violence.

     It  is  important  to be clear about the  essence  of
responsibility and accountability.

     Given     the    true essence   of     responsibility
and  accountability  it is essentially  impossible  to  be
authentically  responsible  for  others.   No  person  can
authentically respond and indicate why another person  has
acted as they have.

     The  essence  of accountability  is  the  ability  to
account  for actions taken;  indicating what motivated the
actions  taken.   Only  the person who has acted is  in  a
position to authentically respond and account for  actions
taken;   indicating  what  motivated  the  actions  taken.
Responsibility  and accountability have to do  with  being
intimate; open and honest. No other person can be intimate
for another person.

     To  arrogate unto oneself the responsibility to speak
for  another  person  is a form of  violence.   To  assume
responsibility  for another person is a form of  violence.
To  be  asked  to be responsible  for  another  person  is
another form of violence.  Such violence leads to personal
and  communal  disintegration;  and so it is evil  in  the
sense that evil pertains to alienation.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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