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   %WEDDING MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP PARENT LETTING GO 890129

     In a wedding the participants dedicate themselves  to
the  health of a new relationship.  The health of the  new
relationship   is  the  continuing  focus  of  a   healthy
marriage.   Healthy  relationships are not  the  fruit  of
trying  to  please parents,  relatives,  friends  or  each
other.   A  healthy marriage relationship is the fruits of
cooperatively  seeking  to  promote  a  healthy   marriage
relationship,  even when on some occasions some particular
person or persons may not be pleased by such efforts.

     In a wedding the parents,  relatives, friends and the
bridal  couple  dedicate themselves to the health  of  new
relationships;  to the best of their ability. A wedding is
a  celebration  of the agreement of  the  participants  to
dedicate   themselves   to   the   health   of   the   new
relationships.  Participants agree not to intrude into the
marriage relationships in ways which might threaten  their
health.

     The  health  of  a  marriage  relationship  is  often
undermined  by  unwise attempts to please  people  without
regard  to  what  such attempts are likely to  do  to  the
health  of the marriage relationships.  Efforts to  please
may undermine open and honest dialogue.  Efforts to please
may lead to unbalanced spending of time,  energy,   money,
attention, concern. Efforts to please may lead to coercive
patterns of manipulation designed to control behavior.  In
a   healthy   marriage   the  health   of   the   marriage
relationships  is more important than the pleasure of  any
one  person;   so the health of the relationships  is  not
sacrificed in an attempt to please any one person.

     In  a wedding the participants dedicate themselves to
the  health  of new relationships.  The participants in  a
wedding by participating agree that their pleasure is  not
to be the major concern within the new relationships.  The
participants seek by their participation to encourage  the
couple to attend to the health of their new relationships,
and  thereby  to promote the health of  the  community  in
which they will live.

     A  wedding  is a celebration of such  dedication  and
encouragement.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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