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   %CHILD ADDICT TEST PARENT GOD CODEPEND LOVE CARE 890116

     The  insecure child/addict is bound to test the  love
of  the  parent/God/codependent to see if there is  enough
love  there to compensate for the sense of lack  which  is
responsible for the insecurity.

     If the parent/God/codependent really loves, the other
will take care of self in hours of need.

     The  fool's  way to test that love is to create hours
of need by not taking care of self.

     This  kind  of testing does not generate a  sense  of
security. The test is an inadequate test of love. There is
always  left a sense of doubt even when care is  bestowed.
Care which is bestowed in response to a test is recognized
as not being genuine love.

     When   genuine   love is not known  insecure   people
seek to find it.   If all that the insecure people know is
superficial  care,  insecure people are bound to test  for
love  by  asking for superficial  codependent  care.   The
insecurity which is generated by the inadequate care given
in  return---generates  further felt need to test,  to  be
dependent, to promote codependency on the part of the care
giver.

     The  games  of the addict and the codependent do  not
generate  genuine love or security.  The game needs to  be
transcended by all persons involved in it,  and victimized
by it.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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