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   %INTERNAL CONFLICT RESOLUTION PEACE VIOLENCE WAR 890104

     Conflict  is  usually thought of as existing  between
people or groups of peoples; e.g., between nations, ethnic
groups,   religious groups,  etc.  It may be impossible to
understand   and  resolve  such  inter-personal   conflict
without   understanding   and   resolving   intra-personal
conflict; i.e., conflict within individual persons.

     How  can one person be the victim of conflict  within
the person?

     Internal   conflict  exists  whenever  a  person   is
dedicated  to  and/or  is seeking to  fulfill  conflicting
ideals, values, goals, purposes, etc.  In such a situation
there  is  a lack of personal integrity.   Often  in  such
situations there is also a lack of awareness of the nature
of the internal conflict; perhaps even a lack of awareness
that  the conflict exists.  Under such  circumstances  the
person  and  others are unable to honestly deal  with  and
resolve the conflict.

     Conflict  resolution in such situations is especially
difficult  if  there  is a pattern of reality  denial,   a
pattern  of deceptive behavior and a refusal to  seek  out
and  deal with the truth.  Conflict resolution is all  but
impossible  in the face of dishonesty about the  conflict,
especially if there is reflexive dishonesty which conceals
the  truth from those with the most to gain from resolving
the conflict.

     Often  the  nature of denied conflict has to do  with
conflicting  demands upon limited resources such as  time,
money,  energy,  vitality,  minerals,  space,  creativity,
attention,  etc.  People all too often attempt to  achieve
more than can be achieved, to do more than can be done, to
be more perfect than is possible. Pretending to be able to
fulfill  more commitments than can be fulfilled  generates
internal conflicts which cannot be resolved so long as the
pretense is maintained. Such conflicts can not be resolved
until  the  meta-conflict  which occasioned  the  original
pretense is resolved.

     People  engage in pretense to gain  acceptance  which
they  fear  they  would not enjoy in the  absence  of  the
appearance  which  the pretense maintains.   The  original
meta-conflict   has  to  do  with  the  felt  need  for  a
difference  between reality and appearance.  The  original
conflict   leads  to  behaviors  which  generate   sibling
conflicts which are internal,  and hidden by the  original
need   for  some  form  of  pretense  to  maintain   false
appearances to achieve acceptability.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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