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 %HONEST UNRESOLVED CONFLICT LIMIT POSSIBLE PERFECT 890102

     When people are not honest about unresolved conflicts
the  conflicts fester and generate frustration,   anxiety,
dis-ease,  and debilitation.  Pretending that conflicts do
not exist only compounds the difficulties inherent in  the
conflicts.   Pretending that perfection is possible  makes
the  problems of imperfections worse.  Pretending that the
impossible  is  possible makes worse the  dilemma  of  the
impossibility  of  fulfilling the desires which cannot  be
fulfilled.

     Addicts  and  codependents are into  being  dishonest
about unresolved conflicts.  They pretend that  perfection
is  possible when it is not.  They pretend that  conflicts
which  do exist between ideals do not exist.  They fail to
deal  openly  and  honestly with problems,   mistakes  and
failures.   In the darkness of their pretensions they  can
not  see  clearly to deal effectively with  the  conflicts
which are at the root of their dis-ease.  They do not make
decisions  about which values to affirm in  preference  to
other  less important values.  They pretend that they  can
affirm  all  possibilities  equally,  and  so  suffer  the
consequences of that dishonest pretense.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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