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  %ACKNOWLEDGEMENT COLLUSIVE ADDICTION CODEPENDENCE 880911

To  regain  health  colluders,   addicts  and  their
codependents  must acknowledge and honestly accept  people
and truths that they have violated; done violence to.

Colluders,  addicts and their codependents engage in
games  of  mutual self deception.   To regain health  they
must  stop playing their games of mutual  self  deception.
According  to their conception of reality those games  are
essential to survival.  In fact those games are central in
their  own  disintegration.   To regain their health  they
must  acknowledge  and  accept that  fact  which  is  very
painful  for them to acknowledge.   According to the rules
of  their  game of mutual self deception it  is  taboo  to
acknowledge or accept the fact that the dishonest game has
been and is being played.

It  is  hard  to admit that one has  spent  a  major
portion  of one's life behaving in a foolish way which has
done  great  violence to one's own self,  and to  all  the
people who have been closest to you.   It would be hard to
do that if one was self confident and healthy.  It is even
harder to do that when one lacks self esteem,   confidence
and courage.  It is an act of great courage to acknowledge
and  accept  the realities of  one's  life when one  is  a
colluder,  addict or codependent.  Yet that  act  of great
courage is essential to recovery  and health for one's own
self and for one's own community.

To accept is not to approve or pass judgment in any
way.    To accept is not to be indifferent about  possible
improvements.  To accept is to acknowledge the reality and
the  truth which is present.   To accept is to become free
of the rules of a collusion.   To accept is to become free
of  the  compulsions  of  an  addictive  and   codependent
relationship.    To accept is to openly and honestly  see,
perceive, feel, speak, and listen.

When  you  accept a truth or a person  there  is  no
repression  or suppression;  no coercion used to  conceal,
obscure,   confuse  or  forget.    Acceptance  involves  a
recognition  of  the coherent wholeness  of  a  situation,
including the parts of the whole which one wishes were not
there.  In acceptance there is no pretense, no pretension,
no pretending.   With eyes open one can deal with what has
been  acknowledged  to be the character  of  the  coherent
wholeness of the situation.   When the eyes are closed  it
is  impossible  to deal with the coherent wholeness  of  a
situation.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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