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 %AUTHENTIC FEELINGS EMOTIONS MOTIVATIONS ADDICTION 880910

People   who   enjoy  both  personal  and   communal
integrity  act with integrity to meet their own  authentic
needs  with due consideration for each  other's  authentic
needs.    They  are authentically aware  of  each  other's
authentic need because they participate in open and honest
dialogue with each other.

Authentic  people  know their own and  each  other's
authentic  needs because they recognize the importance  of
such needs relative to abstract conceptions such as formal
responsibilities,    duties,    expectations,     shoulds,
disciplines,   etc.   Authentic people recognize that such
formalities  are  often not well  informed  regarding  the
actual   personal   needs   of   participants   in   human
relationships.    Authentic people are in touch  with  the
actual   personal   needs   of   participants   in   human
relationships.   Formal people are often out of touch with
authentic needs because they are attentive exclusively  to
formal rules by which to govern human behavior.

When  formal  rules  govern human  behavior  without
exception,   people must lose touch of their own authentic
needs,   and  must lose touch with the authentic needs  of
their neighbors.  When formal rules are regarded as having
ultimate   importance,   it  is  necessary  to   disregard
authentic  personal needs;  for intuitive  perceptions  of
felt needs can not be regarded as important in the face of
ultimately  important abstract conceptions  such as formal
responsibilities,    duties,    expectations,     shoulds,
disciplines, etc. When formal rules are regarded as having
ultimate importance it  is  impossible to sustain personal
integrity because it is necessary  to disregard  authentic
personal needs.

People  who  regard  formal  rules  as  of  ultimate
importance  are bound to disintegrate and their  community
is  bound to disintegrate.   They become  participants  in
collusive, addictive and codependent formal relationships.
Their relationships are not authentic.  They do not regard
open and honest dialogue as  of  any ultimate  importance.
They  do not regard personal  or communal integrity as  of
ultimate importance.  As a result they do not enjoy either
personal or communal integrity.

Formalists  are not attentive to their own  feelings
and emotions,  or to the feelings and emotions of  others.
Formalists  cannot be true to their formal mandates  while
being   honestly  attentive  to  their  own  and   others'
authentic  feelings  and emotions.   Formal rules are  not
geared  to  a mechanism in which  authentic  feelings  and
emotions play a pivotal role.   Formal rules are geared to
objective   mechanisms   which   can   be   given   formal
consideration in judgments of propriety.  Formal rules are
designed    to    facilitate   retrospective    judgmental
considerations,       not     anticipatory      charitable
considerations.    Formal  rules  are  founded  upon   the
knowledge of good and evil,  not upon familiarity with the
ways  of  charity and love.   Formal rules  were  invented
after leaving the Garden of Eden, not in the Garden.

To  return  to  the Garden we must detach  from  the
preoccupations    of   people   trapped   in    judgmental
considerations  which  are focused upon  formal  rules  of
acceptability  and rejectability.   Such people find  more
reasons for rejecting themselves and each other than  they
find reasons for accepting themselves and each other.

 To  return  to the Garden we must get  honestly  in
touch  with  people's  authentic  needs;   beginning  with
getting  honestly  in touch with our own authentic  needs.
If we cannot recognize and give  fair consideration to our
own authentic needs,   it  is  impossible to recognize and
give charitable consideration  to other people's authentic
needs.

We  can  not enjoy personal and  communal  integrity
without  giving open and honest consideration to both  our
own  authentic needs,  and the similar authentic needs  of
our neighbors.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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