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                   %RESPONSIBILITY TO BE IN CONTROL 870420

     Parents, teachers, professors, supervisors, generals,
and  many  other  leaders are taught  to  be  in  control,
rewarded  for having achieved control,  and  punished  for
failing to have achieved control of persons subordinate to
themselves.

     Subordinates  are taught to play the role of  persons
under   control,    to  respect  the  importance  of   and
responsibility  of persons who have been chosen to  be  in
control,   and to covet the power of having the  important
responsibility of being in control.

     Consumers are taught the importance of ownership as a
means to control of goods for sale; and so consumption and
business  is  promoted.    In  service-oriented  societies
personal  services are for sale and for a price the  buyer
is granted levels of control over the provider of services
offered.    Money  is not the only consideration of  value
which is offered in contractual relationships.   Varieties
of  ownership  and kinds of control are bartered for  what
are  perceived  to  be mutual advantages  in  reciprocally
controlling relationships.  Openness, honesty,  listening,
dialogue, intimacy, vulnerability, etc. are rarely kept in
balance  in  integrative  ways  within  such   controlling
relationships.

     Humans were not created to be controlled, or to be in
control.    Being controlled and being in control lead  to
behavior  patterns  which do not promote the  survival  of
individual  members  of the species,  or  of  the  species
itself.     The  consequent  behavior  patterns   include:
frustration, resentment,  anger,  rebellion,  symbolic and
actual violence,  and addictions to all sorts of means and
technologies  chosen  in the hopes/belief that  they  will
lead  to  a  regaining of a sense of:  self  esteem,  self
respect, self presence, genuine intimacy and mutually free
of attempts to be in control.

     People  are  lead into patterns of control by  ideals
which  they learn within manipulative cultures.    Healthy
ideals and values which  place  great importance upon both
personal  and  communal  integrity can  lead  people  into
patterns  of  behavior which will transcend both the  felt
needs   to  be  in  control  and  all  the  disintegrative
consequences of those felt needs.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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