This-essay is a8503232.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %RATIONALIZATION EXPLANATION GUILT 850323 The search for successful understanding, prediction and control leads to guilt---when people find they are rejected for not being able to explain their behavior in the face of conflicting ideals which are laid upon them by others. Reflexive efforts to understand, predict, explain, and control our own behaviors are bound to run into difficulties when our behavior is motivated by conflicting ideals---and by the fear of rejection by people who (while in conflict with each other) have introjected into us ideals which are in conflict with each other, and so lead us to behave without consistency and integrity. In the face of such behavior on our own part, we find we can not justify our own behavior in any consistent way, and so feel guilty and fearful of rejection by others and self for not successfully living up to all our ideals. Too often we fail to recognize why we can not live up to all our ideals: it is logically impossible to do so. It is unreasonable and not helpful to demand that people explain their behavior when it is rendered incoherent by double-binds, taboos, collusions, and internalized conflicting ideals; it is especially unreasonable to demand reasonable explanations as a condition for acceptance and avoidance of rejection. Such demands are often the primary causes of the unreasonable behaviors which they are ostensibly intended to inhibit. The makers of such demands insist that other people own the problems which belong to the makers of the demands. The explanations are demanded to meet an emotional need of the maker of the demands, not to help the person upon whom the demands are made to act wisely in the face of the circumstances which occasion the behavior for which an explanation is demanded. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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