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%FEAR OF REJECTION-2 830623
It is hard to think and behave with integrity while
fearing rejection by the persons and/or community which
give contextual meaning to your life. Such fear diverts
attention away from gaining a clear perception and
understanding of the objective realities at hand; towards
dealing with collusive realities, in keeping with the
rules of the collusive games which: create them, will
confirm their reality, and justify the fear which
motivated dealing with them as real objective realities.
Such fear of rejection confirms itself in the process of
avoiding rejection. To transcend such fear one must be
willing to find meaning outside the cycle of fear.
To deal wisely with objective reality our vision must
not be clouded by fear of rejection. We must learn that
anybody who would reject us for failing to conform to some
convention of propriety is not worthy of our respect, and
so we should not fear their rejection. To learn such
freedom we must know people who are committed to honesty
and openness apart from conforming to standards of
conventional propriety; people whose rejection need not be
feared because they reject no person. To them rejection
is an unacceptable tool of personal manipulation, for it
undermines personal and communal integrity.
Guilt is internalized fear of rejection. The person
who feels guilty is rejecting self for having failed to
conform to some standard of propriety. It is hard not to
be fearful of rejection by the person closest to you, your
own self. Guilt undermines personal integrity, and so
undermines communal integrity. People who are prone to
having guilt feelings find it difficult to deal wisely
with real complicated situations which require clear
vision which is not distracted by fear of rejection based
upon conventional standards regarding how one should
perceive, understand, feel, communicate, and find meaning
in life.
Rejection, threats of rejection, and guilt are evil
in the sense that they promote alienation; the beak-down
of personal and communal integrity. Evil is the absence
of love which promotes personal and communal integrity.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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