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%LOVE'S MUTUALLY FULFILLING PLEASURES 801211
The essence of love is the desiring and offering of
opportunities to participate in mutually fulfilling and
pleasurable relationships among people who are or might be
close to each other. Closeness may be of various forms:
geographic, professional, work-place, interest, political,
religious, educational, sexual etc. Love offers
opportunities but does not expect or demand particular
responses to the offerings; desiring authentic responses
rather than conventional responses, or responses which
merely fulfill expectations. The desire is a desire for
mutuality in pleasurable relationships that fulfill
participants' potentials in keeping with their respective
desires.
Some of the more common perversions of love include:
seeking pleasure without mutuality, operating in terms of
systematic procedures prescribed as conforming with love's
commands, inflicting paternalistic care upon the "loved
on", engaging in selfish pleasurable activities which
mutually satisfy a small number of participants---but do
not fulfill their potentials and do not respect other
people's right, engaging in contractual personal
relationships wherein behavior is prescribed by explicit
or implicit contract which is binding, collusions by which
"lovers" lose contact with reality, etc. Participants in
such perverted relationships usually lack some kind of
balance, and it is helpful to note what kind of balance is
missing.
Conformity without mutuality is not balance. Neither
is mutuality without pleasure in balance. Pleasures which
undermine the fulfillment of people's fundamental
potentials are not balanced. The fulfillment of formal
abilities without pleasure is also out of balance. No one
value is valuable when it operates to the exclusion of
other values. An exclusive affirmation of any value
invalidates the affirmation, because of the lack of
balance. Any affirmation of a value which inhibits
balance, mutuality, pleasure, personal fulfillment,
alternative opportunities, or dialogue is an affirmation
which is self-defeating.
The essence of love is the desiring and offering of
opportunities to participate in mutually fulfilling and
pleasurable relationships among people who are or might be
close to each other.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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