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%JACK'S CONGRUENT EXPERIENCES 801204
Jill does not trust Jack because Jill does not
perceive Jack as having personal experiences which are
congruent with her own. Perhaps Jack's experiences are
not congruent with Jill's. Perhaps they are congruent
with Jill's, but Jack is a participant in a collusion, or
the victim of a taboo, which causes Jack to feel and act
as if his experiences were other than they are. Jack's
experiences may be congruent, but his perception of them
may not be congruent, and Jill may be correctly getting
Jack's perception of his experiences, which experiences
are congruent with Jill's---but which perceptions are that
the experiences are not congruent. The lack of perception
of congruence may originate not in the experiences, but in
Jack's perception of his experiences.
The lack of congruence my originate in accidental
aspects of communication between Jack and Jill; e.g.,
differences in language, sub-cultural context,
misunderstandings of idioms, etc.
The lack of congruence may originate in a failure on
the part of Jack to correctly perceive Jill, and an effort
on the part of Jack to present himself as congruent with
Jill, presenting himself as congruent with other than Jill
is to herself, and so from Jill's point of view, as
incongruent with herself as she know's herself. The lack
of congruence may thus originate in Jack's failure to
correctly perceive the real Jill.
On the other hand, the lack of congruence may
originate in Jill's being the victim of collusions/taboos
which inhibit or misdirect her perceptions of: Jack,
Jack's perceptions, herself, or her own self-perceptions.
Jack's experiences and perceptions thereof may be
congruent with Jill's, but Jill may fail to perceive the
congruence for a variety of reasons internal to Jill
and/or her relationships to her social contexts.
Trust is undermined by any factors which inhibit the
development of mutually congruent experiences and
perceptions thereof. Prescriptions are often used in an
effort to insure congruence of experiences and
perceptions, yet as often as not, prescriptions regarding
experiences and perceptions thereof tend to inhibit
honesty and so inhibit the development of congruences.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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