This-essay is a8009263.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %TRUSTWORTHY PEOPLE 800926 We instinctively turn to people who are willing and able to play meaningful roles in helping us fulfill our essential needs. We instinctively turn away from people who are unwilling and/or unable to play meaningful roles in helping us fulfill our essential needs. Our turnings thus depend upon the relative urgency of our felt needs and upon the relative willingness and ability of those about us to play meaningful roles in helping us fulfill our essential needs. Rarely do we feel a need for rigid legalistic rules in terms of which a computer might be programmed to instruct us in how to behave in various situations. Rarely do we feel a need to be rejected for failing to fulfill people's expectations. Rarely do we fee a need to be excommunicated. Thus we rarely turn to people who stand willing and able to fulfill such "needs". We are more likely to turn away from them to others who are free to be more helpful. Those who are free to be genuinely helpful play meaningful roles in helping us fulfill our needs to: Be ourselves. Fulfill our unique potentials. Develop intimate friendships. Satisfy our curiosity. Take personal initiatives. Satisfy our hungers for food, friendship, intimacy, sexual relationships, and love. Cope with insecurity, anxiety, doubt, frustration, guilt, and finitude. Be reconciled. Make meaningful commitments. Change. Some people use our needs as lovers with which to manipulate us to meet their needs. We rarely feel the need to be so used and so we instinctively turn away from such people---if there are any alternatives to turn to. Some people would prevent us from turning to those whose stand willing and able to meet our needs in imperfect ways--but such preventers rarely offer more perfect alternatives to which we might turns. They would rarely offer more perfect alternatives to which we might turn. They would merely reduce the number of alternatives open to us. We rarely feel the need to have our alternatives reduced; although we often feel the need for wisdom in choosing from a bewildering range of alternatives shrouded in mysterious implications. Thus, we tend to turn away from constrainers and towards liberators. Our lives are meaningful to the extent to which we are in fellowship with people willing and able to help us fulfill our essential needs. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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