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%PRIVACY VIOLATING QUESTIONS 791011
To ask people some questions is to violate their
privacy. Intrusive questions put people into a double
blind out of which they can not gracefully escape. To
answer intrusive questions is to surrender privacy. To
evade intrusive questions is to behave in a way which will
communicate to the questioner that the evasion is
motivated by a sense of guilt. Even more so, a frontal
refusal to answer intrusive questions is likely to be
taken as an admission of guilt. Rarely do people who ask
intrusive questions know how to respect the personal
privacy of others.
The situation is more difficult to judge when the
intrusive questions occur in the context of good natured
teasing of a friendly sort. It is not likely to be
helpful to try to prevent such teasing, for to do so is to
inhibit a precious form of intimacy. Yet, even in such
teasing there are limits to which love will not go. It is
not loving to violate privacy even in good-natured
teasing. It is difficult for the teased to respond
charitably to teasing which oversteps the bounds of love
and violates privacy.
The situation is relatively easy to judge when the
intruder has obvious selfish motives for violating the
privacy of another: revenge, political advantage, profit,
financial management, acquisition of power, moral
superiority, etc. When there are selfish motives the
invasion of privacy is often used to take advantage of
people's immaturity to turn them against a person who has
in private done what is emotionally threatening to
immature people. By violating the people's privacy the
violated people may be made to carry the guilt of the
immature who feel guilty for having imagined the violated
people to have done what the immature do not feel free to
do, even though they would like to enjoy themselves in so
doing. The society which encourages such violations of
privacy is likely to be a violent society---because it
rewards immaturity and inhibits intimacy. Lovers are not
safe in privacy in such a society, because the society
does not respect the right of lovers to enjoy privacy.
Such a society is more concerned with promoting conformal
behavior than with promoting dialogue, listening, and
communication. It will inhibit love to promote conformity
in the name of the God of Love.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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