This-essay is a7908252.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %RATIONALIZING TIMIDITY 790825 Jack is timid. He rationalized his timidity by carefully choosing occasions in which to ostensibly be assertive. He does not dare to be assertive in a situation where he might succeed, for such a success would undermine his self-image as a timid person who is safe from the responsibility to dare doing new things. Jack asserts himself only in situations where he is confident he will not succeed and where he can succeed in blaming others or circumstances for his failures. Through such care Jack can successfully maintain his timidity through rationalization. Timidity pertains to all kinds of situations: business ventures, sports, making new friends, asking new questions, traveling to new places, learning new languages, seeking more intimate relationships, seeking a new job, asking for more responsibility, revealing oneself, seeking sexual intimacy, seeking political office, offering to lead a group, etc. In each such situation we may rationalize our timidity as Jack rationalized his---by arranging to have our assertiveness lead to failures which we can blame on circumstances or other people. We may outgrow our timidity if we are fortunate enough to enjoy a fail-safe context. In such a context we need not fear failure. We are then free to seek honestly to succeed and feel free to fail on occasion. We can honestly take the risk of failing and so honestly try to succeed. Success leads to success as we discover the contexts and tasks in which we can succeed. Success leads to improved self-confidence and clearer thinking and planning---and so more success. We learn how to avoid failure by failing in fail-safe contexts where friends help us understand why we failed and how to avoid future failures. We do not need to be timid in fail-safe contexts. Education should help students outgrow timidity by providing them fail-safe contexts in which to deal with timidity in all kinds of situations. We may be timid in some kinds of situations and assertive in other kinds of situations. Teachers should help students of all ages to learn how to out-grow timidity in whatever situations they are still timid. So helping students depends upon much more than knowledge of specialized skills, techniques, and procedures. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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