This-essay is a7908191.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %COURTING FAVOR CONFORM RESPECTABLE+790819 %APPROVAL INTEGRITY PERSONAL DESIRES 790819 Some people are ultimately concerned with courting favors of others. They can not imagine anybody with any other ultimate concern. Those who do have other ultimate concerns thus baffle the people who ultimately court favors. The behavior of a nonconformist may appear to be an inept attempt to court the favor of a certain group of people. Jack, the nonconformist, may not understand the members of the Literary Guild---so his courting is inept. Perhaps Jack misunderstands the members of the LIterary Guild, but his occurring technique is very poor. Maybe his timing is bad. In any case Jack's behavior is to be understood as an attempt at courtship. Jack is not respected because his is obviously inept at courtship. Jack's attempt to court favor by explaining his behavior is particularly inept. When will he learn to court favor properly? Jill finds Jack attractive and seeks to court his favor. Jill is not particularly disturbed by Jack's ineptness at courting favors---she is so skillful at courting favors that when the time comes she will teach Jack all that he needs to know about courtship. Jack is playing a good game of hard-to-get, so Jill has to court particularly skillfully. Jack wishes that Jill would be more authentic as a person, less manipulative. Jill wishes Jack would not criticize her when she is trying so hard to do things just right. Can't Jack see that she is trying to please him, so that he will like her? Jack needs to learn to appreciate her courtship and respond appropriately. Jack wishes that Jill would quit her affected manner of behavior and let him get to know who she really is. Courtship occurs in the business, academic, political, and other adult "worlds". If the participants do not play the same assumptions, attitudes and rules, misunderstanding is bound to occur. They may take their respective approaches so for granted that they can not see the source of their misunderstanding---not imagining that the other players are playing different set of rules according to a different manner of approach. The other players certainly do not play well, but that need not mean that they are playing by a different set of rules. There can be no other set of rules! Courtship is the purpose, the only purpose, in life; and our set of rules are the correct set of rules to be followed. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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