This-essay is a7908121.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %LEARNING TO LISTEN ROLE MODEL EXAMPLE+790812 %COMMUNICATION FREEDOMS DIALOGUE TEACH 790812 We learn to listen through the examples of trusted role models who listen. If we have no trusted role models who listen---then we are unlikely to listen. It is very difficult to become a good listener---without the support of an exemplar good listener. Listening skills are probably best learned along with other communication skills; as an infant, a child, and as a student in elementary, secondary, college, and graduate education. If during our education our exemplars are not good listeners--- they teach us that good listening is not important. Teachers learn most of their teaching skills through the examples of their own teachers. If few teachers are good listeners in one generation---their examples of non-listening will occasion few good listeners in the next generation---unless unusual remedial efforts are made. We do not learn to listen by being talked to, or by having material from others to read. We do not learn to listen by talking at others, or by writing material for others to read. We do not learn to listen by listening to lectures about listening, or by reading about listening. Each of these may play a support role, but none of them is sufficient or essential. We learn to listen by being listened to, and by actively listening to other persons who are deeply important to us as persons. We learn by being with and imitating those whom we admire, and by doing as they do. We learn by doing what we admire in trusted peoples' doing. Much of what we learn cannot be fully described through the use of formal symbols in any formal language. Communication freedoms are the prerequisites to learning to listen. Listening is constrained when people are not free to communicate their perceptions, ideas, feelings, opinions, desires, visions, fears, etc. Fear can inhibit listening, just as it can inhibit speaking, writing, and other forms of self revelation. We fear to accept into ourselves that which we can not freely share with others; for to accept and internalize such, is to take on a burden we may not be free to share. Thus excommunication inhibits listening---cuts off communication by blocking listening. People who punish via excommunication thus inhibit learning to listen. This is especially tragic when teachers of communication skills punish their students through excommunication in any form. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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