This-essay is   a7903032.htm   which is available  at the
web-site   www.essayz.com.   See more notes at the bottom.
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
By-Months                By-Years                 By-Words
Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One
==========================================================
                %UNFULFILLED DIALOGUE OPPORTUNITIES 790303

     I  looked  into her steady eyes---which gazed without
fear into mine.   Why wasn't she afraid to look so deeply?
Did  I dare let her see so deeply?   How could I keep  her
from  seeing  deeply?  Was she naive in  her  youth,   not
knowing  where  such looking could lead?   Didn't she know
that being so unfearful  and trusting  could lead from one
level  of  intimacy to another in a  process  which  would
likely get out of control?   How much time and how much of
herself  was  she  willing  to  invest into  the  kind  of
relationship which might develop if  we both let ourselves
go?    How much time and how much of myself would  I  have
been  able  to  invest in the development of the  dialogue
opportunities which  were present in the meeting as such a
deep  level?    What barriers to dialogue  could  we  have
lowered   without   creating  tensions   between   present
commitments and developing commitments which would destroy
both us and our relationship?   On what  grounds could  we
keep  the  protective barriers up if we let  the  dialogue
opportunities mature?

     I know from experience where such meetings can  lead.
Does she?  How can I ask her if she knows, without thereby
deepening our dialogue in a way  which might  lead  to her
seduction?   How can I be fair to her and to the  dialogue
opportunities,  in our relationship?   To even attempt  to
jointly consider the opportunities  is to go over the edge
of  the cliff into the dark valley---below which  involves
uncharted  places having dimensions which we do  not  even
know  of yet---dimensions  orthogonal  to all the ways  in
which we have grown so far.  Does she know that?   How can
I possibly tell her without pushing us over the edge?  Can
I be fair and just without asking, without telling?  Can I
be fair and just in asking,  in telling?   Who can  decide
such questions in an unbiased way?

    What  are  my  motives?   What do I fear?   What do  I
desire?  What are the conflicts of interest?  What are the
structures of this situation in a  multi-dimensional space
where most of the directions are orthogonal to  everything
which is familiar?   Is there any map?   Have others  been
here before us?  Where did they leave any traces of how to
move  wisely  in this context?   What is the God  of  love
saying?

     What can uninformed others helpfully tell us?

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
  www.essayz.com       Search for Integrity and Honesty        
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================

Lines beginning with a percent sign are  KEYWORDS  for use
in ESSAY-System Searches.  Their terminal digits are dates
of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ =  a  means 99,
@ =  b  means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count.

Links to date-adjacent essays are near  page top & bottom.

   
Find the following links by clicking on CENTER when CENTER
near  the top or bottom  of a web page of essayz.com
 
                    
               1. Go to HOME PAGE of essayz.com
            2. Find brief-essays via keywords
           3. Find brief-essay about ADDICTION
          4. Search-Helps related to ABOVE-LINK
 
            5. GoTo Action & Information Center
           6. Find Regular-Essays via Year/Month
          7. Find Regular-Essays via Word-Starts
              8. Find Regular-Essay about LOVE

This-essay is   a7903032.htm   which is available  at the
web-site   www.essayz.com.  These 5 lines echo top lines.
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
By-Months                By-Years                 By-Words
Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One