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                          %UNRECOGNIZED DIFFERENCES 781220

     Unrecognized  differences  are  the  source  of  much
misunderstanding.   There are unrecognized differences  in
people,  ethical/moral situations, and word meanings which
occasion  much trouble.   We often take for  granted  that
others are like us, because it is inconceivable to us that
anybody could be different in certain very basic ways.  We
fail  to  recognize important differences in ethical/moral
situations   and  expect/demand  behavior  appropriate  to
situation "A"  which appears to us the same as the present
situation "B"; yet "B" is fundamentally different from "A"
in  ways which we do not recognize.   We use  words  which
seem  unambiguous  to us in terms of our experience,   yet
they connote different meanings which are also unambiguous
to others with different experiences than we had.

     When  we are experiencing protracted difficulties  it
may   be   helpful   to  seek  to   recognize   previously
unrecognized   differences.     Often  it  is  unwise   to
accentuate differences.  It is also unwise to fail to seek
to recognize previously unrecognized differences which are
occasioning  misunderstanding,   conflict,   and  possibly
violence.

     To search for unrecognized differences we must engage
in  intimate dialogue regarding those circumstances  which
are   associated  with  misunderstanding,    disagreement,
conflict,  and violence.   These are the circumstances  in
which  it is most difficult to discover  the  unrecognized
differences.   This double blind emphasizes the importance
of  a  dedication  to openness and  love.    When  ideals,
principles, and strivings for perfection get in the way of
listening and dialogue we tend to misunderstand each other
and  generate needless conflict and violence.   Thus  high
levels  of  commitments  to  ideals,    principles,    and
perfection   will  not  help  us  recognize  our  as   yet
unrecognized differences.  Trying harder to "be good" will
not help.

     We   need   each  other's  help  to   recognize   our
fundamental differences.    We must seek to recognize  our
fundamental differences in contexts where differences  are
expected, accepted, and respected;  otherwise we will tend
to hide them and not recognize them.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
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