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%DIRECT VERSUS INDIRECT 781018
People differ as regards valuing being direct, versus
being indirect in communications. Some people are offended
by very direct, blunt, factual, concise, accurate
communications such as those characteristic of physical
scientists---especially when the directness pertains to
personal relationships, rather than to physical objects.
Scientists on the other hand often get impatient with the
indirect, ambiguous, imprecise, wordy, or diplomatic
language which is characteristic of many person-oriented
individuals. Different people value different kinds of
communications, and often have difficulty with each other
if what they value in communication is fundamentally
different.
Sometimes people believe that they are responding to
the content of a communication, when in fact they are
responding more strongly to the form of communication
which has been chosen by another person. The medium of
communication may in fact be the dominant message.
Seeking to communicate in a language suited to an
unwelcome message may be a major aspect of the message---
and the language may be rejected as a means of rejecting
the message which can be effectively communicated only via
the rejected language. Non-translatable communications
can be blocked by refusing to be responsive to the
languages which are essential to unwanted communications:
body language, affection, touch, sexuality, eye language,
music, song, dance, architecture, decorations, smell, etc.
Indifference to or exclusion of the modality of
communication can block threatening messages so that they
may be ignored.
Some languages tend to be very explicit and direct in
their nature. Other languages do not facilitate direct
and explicit communications. People who value certain
qualities in communication may thus reject languages which
do not facilitate communications with those qualities---
and so they alienate themselves from people whose focus in
life is best communicated by complementary languages.
People with indifference to what each other values in
languages---can not turn to their own specialized values
for a basis to transcend their alienation. They must come
to recognize their transcendent importance of dialogue
with people who are fundamentally different---else they
will remain alienated.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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