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%AFFIRMATION VS APPROVAL 780614
Upon comparison it is clear that affirmation and
approval are not the same. You may affirm a person. You
cannot approve a person; although you may approve of
placement of a person in a job, or you may approve of a
person's behavior in some situation. Approval presumes a
right to pass judgment and possibly to reject. No one has
a right to reject a person as a person. Thus, no one has
the right to approve a person as a person---for that right
would imply the right to reject the person as a person.
Approval is appropriate only where rejection is
appropriate. It is not appropriate to reject a sunset,
mutual friendships, acts of genuine love, acts of
repentance or forgiveness, self-awareness, emotions, or
feelings. Thus it is not appropriate to approve of any of
the listed realities. To accept inappropriate approval or
permission is to invite later inappropriate disapproval or
denial of permission. That which appears to be favorable
now, may be the foundation for later disfavor.
Affirmation involves the acceptance of the right of
that which is affirmed to be. The right to approve or
disapprove of it is not claimed by the one making the
affirmation. When a truth is affirmed, the person making
the affirmation does not claim the right to approve or
disapprove of the truth; it is accepted as a reality
existing independently of any action on the part of the
one making the affirmation. The affirmation calls
attention to the truth and respects it for what it is, an
independent reality. Similarly the affirmation of a
person calls attention to the person and respects the
person without condition.
Affirmations may involve physical, affective, sexual,
intellectual, spiritual, and economic inter-relationships
and dialogue. Human beings grow through affirmation and
die for lack of affirmations. Both approval and dis-
approval entail dis-affirmation, because both entail the
reality or threat of rejection. Rejection occasions
excommunication and alienation; and so sin. Thus, human
beings need affirmations rather than approval. For this
reason, people seek affirmations. If they do not receive
affirmations from reputable persons, they will seek
affirmations from dis-reputable persons. The need for
affirmation exceeds the need for institutional approval
and recognition.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
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(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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