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                                %ECHO RELATIONSHIPS 771210

     Some    relationships    are    fundamentally    echo
relationships.   Jack  shows  declining interest  in  Jill
because Jack feels that Jill is showing declining interest
in him.  Meanwhile,  Jill is showing declining interest in
Jack  because  she feels that Jack  is  showing  declining
interest in her.  As each amplifies the echo they received
from the  other---the message of declining  interest grows
more and more dominant---even though the original  message
was-a  subtle  and  ambiguous expression occasioned  by  a
passing upset stomach.  Echo relationships may involve the
amplification  of one's own original message received back
as an  echo---or it may involve the  amplification  of the
lover's  message  which  the lover may  echo  back  again.
Thoughtless  echoing  of  messages  tends  to  be   risky,
especially  when there is a tendency towards amplification
or expansion of the original message.   Echo relationships
can develop  very  quickly because of the  speed  which is
possible  in  non-verbal  dialogue---transactions   taking
place  in  small fractions of a second in many  instances.
Where  there  is  lack  of  trust,   misunderstanding  and
distrust can be amplified quickly through the dialogue  of
an echo relationship.

     Where there is deep trust and mutuality the  dialogue
of  a  thoughtful  echo  relationship  can  build  greater
mutuality    and    understanding.     Participants    may
thoughtfully  confirm the messages which they receive  and
respond  with  their own initiatives  which  affirm  their
understandings   of  the  messages  received.    In   such
instances dialogue transcends thoughtless echos.   Through
non-verbal  communications  lovers  may  quickly  exchange
perceptions, feelings, images, visions, desires, and their
mutual  awareness in a melody of echos which build into  a
beautiful  harmony.    The rhythm of reciprocity is  as  a
dance  in which two move and grow as one.   In  such  echo
relationships amplification is of a kind which expands the
range  of mutual understanding,  rather than the intensity
of misunderstanding.

     Intimate  relationships  are  not  possible   without
thoughtful  echos which confirm each other's complimentary
values.    People who are always demanding that the  other
affirm  their  own  dominant values---are people  who  are
rarely  affirming  complimentary  values  that  the  other
affirms.    They  tend  to  engage  in  thoughtless   echo
relationships which promote misunderstanding and violence.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
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