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%CHANGING RELATIONSHIPS-II 770111
Relationships and participants in relationships are
constantly changing. Usually the focus of attention is
upon the participants, the elements, which relate to
each other. Attention may helpfully be focused upon the
changing nature of the relationship and the factors which
contribute to that change --- including changes
in the participants occasioned by the relationship and the
changes in the relationship. These observations are
relevant to interactions between cells, organs, organisms,
people, subcultures, institutions, ecosystems, nations,
etc.
Dynamic friendships are changing relationships.
Whenever participants seek to freeze the relationship as
having reached an ideal state, that effort will
dramatically transform the relationship into something
else. The essence of a dynamic friendship is not found in
the nature of a static state of the relationship, but in
the nature of the process of change in the relationship.
To view a friendship as a static relationship is to
destroy it, for such a view will inhibit any living change
and promote deadly change which involves reductions in
interaction and novelty.
Dynamic friendships are unplanned processes, they do
not follow any systematic program for attaining a
preconceived goal. Healthy friendships are not goal
oriented, there are no ulterior motives. Relationships
which are goal oriented with ulterior motives are less
than true friendships, superficial. Mutual manipulations,
even with mutual consent, are not part of truly deep
friendships.
Often "process" is understood in terms of unchanging
elements, and changing relationships between such
elements, according to unchanging laws governing those
elements. Some processes may appear incomprehensible until
the model for comprehension permits interaction between
the relationships and the nature of the elements; between
them and the laws which describe those interactions on the
one hand, and the participant-analysts who-are changing
elements in the changing relationships. Such a
comprehension will accept the mystery which is an
essential aspect of any meaningful life and knowledge.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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