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                              %DIVISIVE CONFIDENCES 760829

     Often, one person gives another person information or
an opinion in confidence; i.e.,   having first extracted a
promise not  to  divulge the information/opinion to anyone
else. Sometimes this involves violence to the recipient of
the confidential information.  This is the 'case' when the
confidential  information  drives  a  wedge  between   the
recipient  and  another person---especially when the other
person is one with whom the recipient would like  to share
the confidence.  The violence is especially great when the
confidence  relates  in  some  way  to  a  friend  of  the
recipient---even  if  there  is not  conscious  intent  to
destroy  that friendship.   In the extreme,  there may  be
malicious    intent   in   extracting   a    promise    of
confidentiality before offering information or  an opinion
selected to undermine a  friendship  between the recipient
and another person.

     In  light of the above,  it is clear that  no  person
should be expected to accept in confidence any information
or opinions which become destructive  of  friendships   by
virtue of  being  given  in  confidence.    The  value  of
confidentiality  must  be  weighed  against the  value  of
meaningful friendships.  Confidentiality is  a means to an
end, not an end in itself.  When confidentiality is valued
exclusively it becomes idolatrous and promotes sin.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
  www.essayz.com       Search for Integrity and Honesty        
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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