This-essay is a7601162.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %MEANINGFUL PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 760116 Personal relationships are meaningful to the extent that they are entered into freely---out of desires to be open towards each other. Meaning is given to the content of the relationship by the freedom of the participants. If the participants enter the relationship as means towards the achievement of extrinsic goals, the meaning of the personal relationship is not personal. The relationship may have non-personal meaning which is significant to the participants. The participants may find the relationship mutually useful. The relationship may be profitable in the sense that each participant is happy with what they get out of the relationship----relative to whet they put into it. It may represent a good investment. Thus mutual manipulation may yield mutual satisfaction in a relationship defined by ulterior motives. In such relationships the participants are not likely to be changed significantly by the relationship. The participants may be unchanging elements which interact with each other according to some set of rules or laws which are respected by the participants. The participants may not give themselves fully without qualification to the fulfillment of the potentialities of the relationship. In meaningful personal relationships there is some sense in which the relationships make the participants, rather than vice versa. Meaningful personal relationships involve vulnerability and risk on the part of the participants who place full trust in a relationship which transcends their individual goals, and transforms them. Not only do the participants not own each other, they do not own or control the relationship. There is a large degree of uncertainty and unpredictability about the future of the relationship and of those caught up into it. To experience the threat of this is unsettling to those accustomed to maintaining full control of their environment and lives. The threat of loss of control creates fear and the temptation to draw back from the terrifying unknown. Thus, insecure persons are likely to limit themselves to manipulative relationships, rather than to take the risk of entering non-manipulative meaningful personal relationships. People whose childhood has provided them with a deep sense of security through relaxed physical affection, acceptance of personal openness, and unconditional acceptance into personal relationships are free to enter meaningful personal relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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