This-essay is a7504061.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %RISK 750406 All real living is meeting and entering into intimate relationships. In such meeting there is risk. Others may not be free to accept self for what self is and does. There may be specific expectations, with acceptance being conditional upon the fulfillment of those specific expectations. Failure can thus generate rejection and emotional hurt if there is not present an emotional fail- safe context in which to take meaningful risks. In the financial world businessmen take risks in making investments. Often investments fail. Yet, the businessman is considered successful if on the average his investments yield a net return. It often is not so in the realm of personal relationships. Certain kinds of failures to fulfill expectations are in personal relationships defined to constitute failure so absolute as to justify excluding the individual from further personal relationships. The businessman whose investment fails to pay off is not excluded from making further investments. Yet people often treat each other as if a failure in a risk taken in an intimate relationships---is adequate ground for excluding the failure from the possibility of further intimate relationships. Such estrangement leads to alienation, and to the compounding of the failure which justified the estrangement. In the name of preventing future failures, action is taken to guarantee their realization. By collusions the absurdity is not seen, and the costs of taking risks are increased. People in self defense take fewer and fewer risks to avoid emotional pain; as a result they cease to live because all real living is in meeting. The only way out of the dilemma is through an awareness of the transcendent importance of keeping open all kinds of channels of communication. Closing channels of communication will not solve the problems which lead to their abuse. A commitment to openness is an essential ingredient to all human problem solving and conflict resolution. Only via collusions can persons attempt to solve problems by closing channels of communication. Such attempts are commonly made, and just as commonly fail. Self and other can acquire mutual understanding only when there is confidence that perceived risks can be taken in a fail- safe context. (c) 2003 by Paul A. Smith in GO: essayz.com "Search for Integrity and Honesty" (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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