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                            %INTIMACY VS. SEXUALITY 750400
                                                          
     Real sexuality is not possible without intimacy. Real
intimacy is possible  with  only intimations of sexuality,
but only within a  cultural  matrix which provides a fail-
safe   context  for  personal  relations  based   upon   a
commitment   to   openness.    If  the   cultural   matrix
uncritically   equates  intimacy  with  sexuality,    both
intimacy  and sexuality become repressed and are  replaced
by   conventional   propriety  and   superficial   genital
relationships   which  provide  little  satisfaction   and
meaning.    A   culture which is overly  specific  in  its
expectations  of  intimacy and sexuality is  populated  by
individuals  who regularly fail to  fulfill  expectations,
and  suffer  in  the absence of an  emotionally  fail-safe
context.                                                  
                                                          
     Sub-cultures  may provide a cultural matrix in  which
there is a fail-safe context for personal relations  based
upon  a  commitment to openness.   Such sub-cultures  may,
however,  be threatening to and threatened by the  broader
culture of which they are a part.   Such sub-cultures  may
threaten  the collusions of the broader culture.   If  so,
the  broader  culture  will  in  self-defense  attempt  to
destroy or render impotent the offending sub-culture. Such
attempts  will  do violence to the  members  of  the  sub-
culture---in  violation  of  many  norms  in  the  broader
culture.   Thus,  such attempts will do violence to all---
but this will not be evident to the members of the broader
culture,   due to its collusions.   Communication will  be
very difficult because the differences pertain not so much
to  the  content of communications, as to the  channels of
communication,   and  the  propriety of  communicating  in
various  ways.   Thus estrangement and alienation will  be
some of the natural consequences.                         
                                                          
     Renewed dedication to traditional values and  notions
of  good  and  evil will not  help  resolve  the  dilemma.
Reconciliation  will  not  flow from  greater  efforts  to
fulfill traditional or new expectations.   Overly specific
expectations  must be transcended.   Ultimate concern must
shift   from  attempts  to  define  and   fulfill   proper
expectation,  and move to the realization of a  commitment
to  openness  towards all persons as they seek to  realize
their  unique  potentials.   Only with  such  an  ultimate
concern for openness and its realization is real  intimacy
possible and so real sexuality is also a possibility.     
                                                          
                         (c) 2003 by Paul A. Smith in     
  GO:  essayz.com     "Search for Integrity and Honesty"  
  for  download     (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)                                                          
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