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 %SEXUAL RELATION INTIMACY DIFFICULT MANAGE CONTROL 051102
  %ESSENTIALLY REASONABLE RATIONAL OBJECTIVE REFLEX 051102
%PREJUDICE BIAS HONEST LISTEN SHARE GIVE GET WEALTH 051102
%CONCENTRATE POWER CORRUPTION ENTROPY CONFUSION SIN 051102
  %AROUSED ANGRY EXCITED ENERGIZED ATTACK FIGHT WIN 051102
%PREPARE PEACEMAKER WAR NUCLEAR WEAPON DESTRUCTIONS 051102

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     Sexual relationships-and-intimacies are difficult  to
manage-and-control for a variety-of-reasons:

     1.  Sexual   relationships-and-intimacies   are   not
essentially reasonable-or-rational.

     2.  Talking-honestly  about-sexual-relationships   is
not easily separated from becoming-sexually-aroused;  even
if  the focus is not one's own personal sexual-experiences
---   and especially  if the focus is  one's  own personal
sexual-experiences.

     3.  Sexual   attractions  create  opportunities   for
enticements-which-are-healthy     laying-alongside      of
enticements which are abusive.

     4.  Attempts-to-control inhumane-sexual-abuse are not
easily-distinguished from attempts-to-manipulate-and-abuse
sexual:  desires,  hopes,  images, expectations,  visions,
dreams, thoughts, and reveries.

     5.  It is  not  a simple thing  to "manage" or "gain-
control-over"     sexual:    desires,    hopes,    images,
expectations, visions,  dreams, thoughts, and reveries ---
by thinking and talking about them "thoughtfully".

     6.  Any decision to be "cooperative"  in dealing with
the risks of sharing insights, thoughts, and understanding
about  humane  sexual-relations-and-intimacies ---   is  a
decision to be willing to be vulnerable ---  which may  be
abused by domineering people who are not sexually-mature.

     7.  For  sexually-immature-people  it is not easy  to
distinguish between sexual-intimacies and  other-kinds-of-
intimacies;  or to presently-and-cooperatively draw clear-
boundaries between them ---  without thereby-crossing such
boundaries.

     8.  For people who are imprisoned  in  the playing of
collusive-games-of-mutual-self-deception   it   is usually
essentially-impossible to  be honest-about-human-sexuality
---  because of their many taboos-which-entail-threats-of-
excommunication  with  core-dishonesty about  the  sexual-
aspects-of BOTH healthy-lives and of unhealthy-lives.

     9.  Domineering   people  are  trying  to  prove   to
themselves  and to each other that they  are  superior-to,
in-control-of  and  dominant-over  each-other  by-means-of
their   superior-levels-of:    dedication,    commitments,
unilateral-actions, techniques,  technologies,  judgments,
ideologies,  values, goals, hopes, expectations,  demands,
commands,  commandments --- by which they can unilaterally
achieve SUPERIOR-SECURITY in the form of INVULNERABILITY.

    10.  True-Lovers  are  sharing-with-each-other   their
experiences  which  demonstrate their knowledge  of  which
kinds-of-kind-relationships are  GOOD;  and that  un-kind-
relationships-of-alienation are EVIL ---  by-means-of  the
natural-consequences-of:   unilateral-actions,   coercion,
violence,   arrogance,  self-righteousness,   exclusivity,
rejections, excommunications, isolation, shunning, excess,
threats, and "successful-dominance".

     11.  True-Lovers   demonstrate-with-each-other    the
natural-integrative-sweet-fruits   of  MUTUAL-PATTERNS-OF:
cooperation/collaboration,       open-and-honest-dialogue,
trust, building-together-sanctuaries-for-all,  generosity,
giving,    sharing,    accepting-acceptance,     honoring-
differences,     empathy,     sympathy,     understanding,
covenenting, reverence,  and bonding-together  in The-Way-
of-Shalom which Weaves- Together Many-Ways of Integrating-
Differing-Integrities in Coherent-Ways.

     12.  While    Isolated-from-each-Other   Domineering-
People  find  it impossible to  Understand-Each-Other  and
impossible  to Understand-any-True-Lover and impossible to
Understand-the-Coherence of different pairs-of and groups-
of  True-Lovers  in Open-and-Honest  Sanctuary-Communities
which welcome all-kinds-of different/imperfect people  who
seek  shelter from the storms of contentiousness which are
fed   by:     unilateral-actions,   coercion,    violence,
arrogance,  self-righteousness,   exclusivity, rejections,
excommunications,  isolation,  shunning, excess,  threats,
and "successful-dominance".

                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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