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   %NOTABLE CONTRASTS DOMINEERING TRUE LOVERS MASKS 040715
%INVULNERABILITY GRACIOUS THREATEN EMBARASS VIOLATE 040715
 %PRETENTIOUS CALCULATIVE UNILATERAL GET TAKE STEAL 040715
 %SANCTUARY SELF OTHERS EXPENSE COOPERATE DIFFERENT 040715
%ATTACK DENIGRATE PLAY COLLUSIVE GAMES MUTUAL DEVIL 040715

    There are notable contrasts between Domineering-People
and    True-Lovers   as   regards   invulnerability    and
vulnerability:

    1.  Wearing  masks-of-invulnerability;   VERSUS  being
graciously-vulnerable in ways which are NOT:  threatening,
embarrassing, manipulative, or pretentiously calculated.

    2.  Unilaterally getting what they want at the expense
of people who are  more  vulnerable than they  are; VERSUS
working tirelessly  to facilitate and promote distributive
justice guaranteed  by  healthy  people to all  members of
their communities.

    3.  Unilaterally building  for themselves  presumably-
invulnerable-sanctuaries    at    "different"     people's
expense;   VERSUS  cooperating with all different kinds of
people    in  building  and  maintaining  true-sanctuaries
within  which  all different  kinds  of people  are  truly
free   to  be  safely vulnerable  in  private  and  public
dialogues  which  are intimate, open and honest.

    4.  Making  poor,   powerless and  already  vulnerable
people  more-vulnerable;   VERSUS graciously demonstrating
vulnerability  and inviting all different people  who  are
poor,  powerless and vulnerable to participate equally  in
true-sanctuaries   which   they   Cooperatively-Build-and-
Maintain-Faithfully  ---  By-Being-Together In-Love.

    5.  Trying  to   avoid  taking  risks by  behaving  in
contentious,   intolerant  and  extreme  ways  which   are
disintegrative;  VERSUS taking the prudent risks which are
entailed   in   cooperating  in  moderate,   tolerant  and
balanced way  ---  so as to promote and facilitate diverse
forms of integrations and integrities.

    6.  Pretending that it is good for all different kinds
of people in all different kinds of situations to  conform
to  standard-patterns-of-behaviors which  are  prescribed-
and/or-proscribed by simple-eternal-commandments;   VERSUS
Being-in-Love  and flexibly-adjusting behavior-patterns so
as to most helpfully  facilitate-and-promote personal-and-
communal  integrations-and-integrities for many-different-
kinds-of-people     within     many-different-and-changing
circumstances-and-situations.    (The former promotes  and
facilitates  dishonesty,  while the  later  promotes   and
facilitates  honesty.     Similar statements may  be  made
about other contrasting vices and virtues. )

    7.  Pretending    that   they   are   NOT-ENGAGED   in
DISINTEGRATIVE  coercion,  violence  and  contentiousness;
VERSUS   not  being  able  to  be   helpfully-and-publicly
fully-open-and-honest about  their most  integrative-open-
and-honest-   relationships  ---  because of  True-Lovers'
wise-prudent-gracious    consideration   of   domineering-
people's   emotional-immaturity   regarding-such-openness-
and-honesty.

    8.  Playing-collusive-games-of-mutual-self-deception;
VERSUS  graciously   trying-to-liberate   victims-of   and
supporters-of  collusions  ---  from suffering the bitter-
fruits-and-consequences of their-collusions.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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