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%HELPFUL RESPECT HONOR SUPPORT REVERENCE UNDERSTAND 040714
%CONTRASTS IDEALS MOTIVATIONS CONTENTIOUS DOMINATER 040714
%CONTROLLER OWNER CONFORMER REGULATOR MANAGER LOVER 040714
%COOPERATIVE TRUE GRACIOUS HOST DIPLOMAT PEACEMAKER 040714
 %MODERATOR ROLE MODEL INTEGRATOR INTEGRATION GREED 040714
 %IDEALS MOTIVATIONS ASSUMPTIONS ATTITUDES EMOTIONS 040714

    To be helpful in who we respect,  honor, support,  and
reverence --- we need to understand the contrasts between:

    1.  The ideals and motivations of CONTENTIOUS:

        Dominators, Controllers, Owners, Conformers,
        Regulators, Managers, etc.

                who facilitate diverse kinds of DIS-
                integrations and Dis-Integrities.

        ---   on the one hand;   and on the other hand,

    2.  The ideals and motivations of COOPERATIVE:

        True-Lovers, Gracious-hosts, Diplomats,
        Peacemakers, Moderators, Role-Models, etc.

                who    facilitate    diverse    kinds   of
                Integrations & Integrities.

    The contrasts may be highlighted by the following  ODD
and  EVEN  descriptions  of their contrasting patterns  of
behaviors;  ODD for CONTENTIOUS-PEOPLE, and EVEN for TRUE-
LOVERS:

    1.  CONTENTIOUS-PEOPLE  focus  upon  themselves  being
able-to,  free-to, and good-at:  being-in-control, acting-
unilaterally,     being-invulnerable,    fulfilling-their-
desires, being-superior,  being-best, etc. --- and so they
promote-and-facilitate:

        conflicts, coercions, violence, wars, military-
        industrial-complexes, mutually-assured-
        destructions, domination-systems, collusions,
        addictions, etc.

    2.  TRUE-LOVER focus upon themselves being integrators
within  well  integrated  communities  ---   and  so  they
promote-and-facilitate:

        cooperation,    mutual-understanding,    civility,
        hospitality,    balance,   sharing,    generosity,
        honesty,      openness,       conflict-resolution,
        gentleness,  kindness,   negotiations,  hospitals,
        constructions-of-communal-sanctuaries,   healings,
        reconciliations, repentance, forgiveness, etc.

    When  we are not clear about the consequences of  what
kinds of people we honor,  respect, support  and reverence
---   it  is natural that tragedies will constantly  recur
with  us  not  understanding why that  is  so.    Then  no
perfection within  and/or number  of:  regulations,  laws,
commandments,  prescriptions,  proscriptions,   judgments,
punishments,    rewards  or  other  unilateral-cures  will
mitigate our continuing tragedies.

    When   we  are  preoccupied  with  the   achievements,
possessions   and   powers  of isolated  individuals   ---
our    inter-personal-relationships    and     communities
disintegrate.  The above noted ODD concerns and priorities
do  not  lead  to personal  and/or  communal  integrations
and/or  integrities.  Children need to learn these lessons
early in life;    else they  live tragic-lives together as
they  grow  up  fighting each   other   in  CONTENTIOUSLY-
COOPERATIVE   ways.      We   can  cooperate   in    being
domineering/disintegrative  or  in being very  GRACIOUSLY-
COOPERATIVE-INTEGRATIVE.     If   we  collude and  pretend
otherwise    ---       we   usually     end    up    being
domineering/disintegrative   and  so  confirm  the   above
description that we are trying to pretend is not accurate!

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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