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%TRUE MEANINGFUL HUMANE RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC STATIC 040614
%EVIL GOOD RELATIONSHIPS PEOPLE INDIVIDUALS MEETING 040614
%INTIMACY SEXUALITY VULNERABILITY INSIDE OUTSIDE IT 040614
%THOU BUBER DEFINE MUTUAL BALANCE UNILATERAL SECRET 040614
%COMMUNAL PRIVATE RIGHTS RIGHTEOUS CREATIVE CONFORM 040614
%REFLEXIVE SCRIPTED CONTROL DOMINATE COERCIVE LOVER 040614

      Truly meaningful and humane relationships:

      1.  Are dynamic, not static.
      2.  Die in the absence of open and honest dialogue.
      3.  Cannot be created by people outside of them.
      4.  Are not defined by outside authorities.
      5.  Are mutual and balanced, not unilateral.
      6.  Are communally supported, not purely secret.
      7.  Are imaginative and creative, not conformal.
      8.  Entail both private & public essential aspects.
      9.  Are not created by prescriptions/proscriptions.
     10.  Are not created by commandments/prohibitions.
     11.  Are not controlled by domineering people.
     12.  Are reflexive realities, not objective ones.
     13.  Are rarely helpfully measured and/or calculated.
     14.  Are rarely predictable or controllable.
     15.  Are often misunderstood by domineering people.
     16.  Do not readily yield to systems-analysis.
     17.  Cannot be standardized.
     18.  Cannot be helpfully "copied".
     19.  Cannot be meaningfully produced or sold.
     20.  Entail vulnerability in balanced ways.
     21.  Are destroyed by striving for invulnerability.
     22.  Cannot be produced in factories by techniques.
     23.  Are rarely helpfully-evaluated by outsiders.
     24.  Evolve in ways which nobody controls.
     25.  Are not limited by rigid rules & guidelines.
     26.  Are not the fulfillment of any dominant plan.
     27.  Cannot be predicted/anticipated with certainty.
     28.  Are not manufactured unilaterally in any way.
     29.  Are threats to domineering dictators.
     30.  Are threats to "The Domination System".
     31.  Threaten self-righteous power-concentrators.
     32.  Threaten arrogant people in Love.
     33.  Are non-violent and non-coercive in Love.
     34.  Transcend systems-analysis by outsiders.
     35.  Are not dominated by scriptural-concerns.
     36.  Are not involved in domination/coercion.
     37.  Are not the fruits of domination/coercion.
     38.  Transcend violence, coercion and domination.
     39.  Rarely follow scripts which preceded them.
     40.  Are not standardized in any meaningful way.
     41.  Cannot be standardized in any meaningful way.
     42.  Are not motivated by efforts to meet standards.
     43.  Transcend standards and regulations in Love.
     44.  Entail distributive justice continually.
     45.  Transcend retributive justice continually.
     46.  Provide security for honest participants.
     47.  Do not provide invulnerability for anyone.
     48.  Do not endure without change/evolution.
     49.  Are not eternal as static realities.
     50.  Cannot be owned or controlled by anyone.

     In the absence of truly meaningful relationships ---

      many people may try to design, plan, engineer, make,
      and/or impose  requirements/commandments  which will
      ostensibly  lead  to  there  being  more  meaningful
      relationships ---

       yet often the motivations which guide and drive
       their  efforts  entail denials of the truth of  the
       above  50 descriptive   comments   about meaningful
       relationships, and the efforts are in fact ---

        guided and driven  by  the demands and commands of
        "The Domination System" and its supportive network
        of attitudes, beliefs, convictions, etc.

     Thus  domineering  people  subvert  truly  meaningful
relationships  ---   while being ostensibly  motivated  by
efforts to insure that there will be many truly meaningful
relationships.   Too few people of any king understand the
details  of  how  the feed-back-loops act  in  ways  which
promote  domineering  efforts  --- which  undermine  truly
meaningful relationships ---  that  undermine  domineering
peoples' efforts to concentrate: power,  wealth,  respect,
honor,   and  support into the hands of the "proper"   and
"right kinds"  of people who are self-righteous, arrogant,
self-centered,  and willing to be domineering and  violent
to get what  they feel that they deserve and should  have,
and/or to get what they simply want.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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