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%TRUE LOVERS ENGAGE TOGETHER CREATIVE INTIMACIES 040317 %DIVERSE DIFFERENCES STRAIN FULFILL EXPECTATIONS 040317 %RISKS AVOID DEMAND UNBALANCED POWER ABUSE HONESTY 040318 %DREAMS VISIONS FANTASIES MUTUAL SAFELY VULNERABLE 040318 %CORRUPT CONCENTRATION DOMINEERING RELIGIOUS LEADER 040318 %SUSPICION PRIVATE CONFORMITY REBELLION SECRETS SEX 040318 Some people are easily capably of being "True Lovers" who engage in diverse forms of creative intimacies and can tolerate each other's engaging in diverse forms of creative intimacies --- without strains over not always fulfilling their own or each other's expectations and/or demands. Other people cannot stand or tolerate what is involved in being "True Lovers" --- engaging in diverse forms of creative intimacies and tolerating each other's engaging in diverse forms of creative intimacies --- without strains over who is/is-not always fulfilling their own or each other's expectations and/or demands. There are risks in people becoming engaged in diverse forms of creative intimacies --- while seeking to avoid strains over not fulfilling their own and/or other's expectations and/or demands. It is not a simple thing to avoid falling into the traps of unbalanced powers and/or the abuses of unbalanced concentrations of powers. Open and honest intimacies and creativity entail mutualities and vulnerabilities --- and so entail the risks of unbalanced powers and/or their abuses. Some people cannot tolerate or permit the knowledge or suspicion that particular people are openly and honestly becoming involved in intimacies and creativity which entail profound mutualiities and vulnerabilities -- - and so entail the risks of unbalanced powers and/or their abuses. Such intolerant and non-permissive people feel called to prevent what they cannot comfortably tolerate; e.g., preventing people from engaging in such intimacies, or at least keeping people from knowing about such intimacies. Intolerant, non-permissive and domineering people seek to devise clear and simple: expectations, demands, rules, commandments, prescriptions, proscriptions, boundaries, laws, judgments, punishments, and related technologies --- to insure that through conformity all people are good, proper, respectable, and tolerable --- in ways which are unilaterally defined and enforced. It is not a simple thing to facilitate, promote and encourage accommodations between diverse/different kinds of people who find it difficult to be kind and gracious in each other's open and honest presences --- which often entail desires to be dominant and/or openly- intimate-and-honest within gracious sanctuaries where all can feel safely vulnerable --- while being safely vulnerable with each other different person within the sanctuary-community. The above challenges and difficulties are augmented to the extent that the people involved include people of wide ranges of: age, maturity, wealth, language, sophistication, education, experience, sensitivity, awareness, and kinds of power which can be used to influence/control each other. Such augmentations occur in extended families, schools, work-places, worship-places, colleges, universities, religious-organizations and political-organizations. Too rarely do people talk about such augmentations in ways which are gracious, open and honest; and so the challenges of such augmentations are too rarely dealt with in ways which are informed, prudent and wise. To clarify the extent of the dilemmas suggested above CONSIDER the multitude of interactions among the following realities which are often tragically relevant to the dilemmas suggested above: 1. Emerging sexuality in young people who have not been graciously guided in how to deal prudently with their emerging sexuality and sex-related diseases and dis-ease. 2. The depth and strength of humane instincts to be together enjoying mutual intimacies and sexual pleasures. 3. The realities of: collusions, personal- addictions, institutional-addictions, Fallen-Powers-That- Be, codependencies, concentrated/corrupted-powers, slavery, enslavement, sexual-abuse, prostitution, child- abuse, child-pornography, sexual-discrimination, gender- discrimination, racial-discrimination, corporate-abuse, corrupted-religious-leaders, addictions-to-technocracy; evil-relationships, and confusions about what is-evil, can-be-evil and cannot-be evil. 4. The extent to which the above dilemmas have not been talked about openly and honestly; and the many reasons for which they have not been talked about openly and honestly. 5. The extent to which religious leaders have been more concerned with being successfully-dominant; rather than with facilitating and promoting diverse forms of personal and communal integrities. 6. The extent to which religious leaders have been more concerned with theological-doctrines, religious-rituals, conformal-confessional-statements, literal readings of scriptures and conformal patterns of behaviors/appearances --- than with facilitating and promoting diverse forms of personal and communal integrities. 7. The extent to which domineering and relatively invulnerable people --- "bargain" with submissive and relatively poor/vulnerable people for additional "favors" of vulnerability/love --- in return "promising" "advantages" in the coming hours, days, weeks, months, and years --- with no clearly enforceable "contracts" made-public with good-faith. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================