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 %EASILY RECOGNIZED ADDICTIONS ADDICTS CODEPENDENTS+030923
 %EXCESSIVE EXTREMISTS SERVICES SERVANTS GOODS SINS+030923
 %HELPERS KINDNESS GENEROUS PATIENT NARCISSISTIC IT+030923
  %EGOCENTRIC SELFISH DOMINEERING DOMINATION DEVILS+030923
 %SETTING ENFORCING STANDARDS DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVES+030923
 %PLEASE RESCUE INTRUDE PRIVATE INTIMACY SEXUAL GOD 030923
                                                          
     It  is easier to recognize the disease of "addiction"
than the disease of "codependence" because:               
                                                          
     1.  "Addicts"  are consumers of goods  and  services;
while "codependents" are providers of goods and services. 
                                                          
     2.  "Addicts   make   demands   upon  others;   while
"codependents"  try to help,  be kind,  be generous and be
patient with others.                                      
                                                          
     3.  "Addicts"  are more obviously narcissistic,  ego-
centered,  selfish,  manipulative,  domineering;  than are
"codependents".                                           
                                                          
     4.  "Addicts"    have  more  difficulty  getting  and
keeping jobs; than do "codependents".                     
                                                          
     5.  "Addicts" are more inclined to become involved in
setting and enforcing standards; than are "codependents". 
                                                          
     Because it is more difficult to recognize the ways in
which  "codependents"  are dysfunctional --- than it is to
recognize  the ways  in which "addicts"  are dysfunctional
---   it is more difficult to help "codependents"  to stop
their behavior patterns which are dysfunctional; e.g.:    
                                                          
     1.  Compensating  for "addicts"  excessive demands as
consumers  and for their failures to be productive members
of the community.                                         
                                                          
     2.  Being  excessively  ready,  willing and  able  to
"please" "addicts" by yielding to:  demands, commandments,
expectations, judgments, threats, pretentiousness.        
                                                          
     3.  Being   excessively  "other oriented",   "rescue-
oriented", submissive, compliant, "good", etc.            
                                                          
     4.  Being exclusively willing to yield to the demands
of  domineering bosses,  co workers,  and work place needs
---  in order to be sure of keeping a job which will bring
in money to keep the family together.                     
                                                          
     5.  Being excessively willing meet the standards  set
by other people --- in  order  to appear  to  everybody as
"good" people;  but not assertive enough to participate in
open and honest  dialogue  about  what  are  the essential
foundations for both  personal  and  communal integrations
and integrities.                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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