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    %MATURE HEALTHY TRUE LOVERS DISTINGUISH RESPOND 030702
   %DIVERSE PATTERNS MOTIVATION ASSUMPTION ATTITUDE 030702
 %LOGIC REASON DEMONSTRATE DOMINATE OBJECTS SCIENCE 030702
%REFLEXIVE GREEDY SEXUAL DISHONEST COLLUSION DEVILS 030702
%LACK ABSENCE MISSING FORGOTTEN IGNORED VIRTUES GOD 030702
  %AFFECT EMOTION FEAR TRAUMA IRRATIONAL PAIN HURTS 030702

     To become and be mature and  healthy  true-lovers ---
we   need  to  learn how to distinguish between,   and  to
respond  helpfully  to,  each of the divers  PATTERNS  of:
motivations,     assumptions,   attitudes,    logics   and
reasoning demonstrated by:

     domineering people,
      true lovers,
       objective scientists,
        reflexive philosophers,
         greedy hoarders,
          sexually connected people,
           dishonest colluders,
            honest peacemakers,
             desperate militarists,
              technocrats, etc.

     No  FINITE set of texts,  scriptures,   commandments,
facts,  doctrines,  laws, etc.  ---  can assure us that we
will  become and continue to be mature and true-lovers ---
without  our having become involved  personally  in  truly
intimate and personally reflexive relationships ---   with
true-lovers who demonstrate true-love to and for us --- by
how   they   approach  and  participate   reflexively   in
cooperation with us in our personal relationships.

     We  may  not become involved with any true lovers  in
any  such  healing  relationships  --- for  a  variety  of
reasons, such as:

     1.  There  being no true-lovers among the members  of
our families, associates and neighbors.

     2.  Our rejections of the advances and courtships  of
true-lovers who do approach us in Love.

     3.  Our  being distracted by,  inhibited by,   and/or
blocked  by ---  efforts of domineering people to  protect
themselves  and their Domination System ---  against  the:
civil,  hospitable, gracious,  kind,  hopeful and generous
efforts of true-lovers --- to facilitate both personal and
communal integrations and integrities in our communities.

     4.  Our feeling  insecure,  embarrassed and terrified
by being in the presence  of true-lovers who are  together
enjoying  their  intimate  healthy relationships  in   the
presence of Love.

     5.  Our  being  unable  to  distinguish  between  the
threats of the defensive efforts of domineering people ---
and   the  risks  of  rushing  into  intimate  and  sexual
relationships   in  the  absence  of  true  knowledge  and
understanding of what those risks are ---  and how to deal
with  those  risks in ways which are:   honest,   healthy,
civil, hospitable, gracious, kind, hopeful and generous.

     6.  Our  failures  to  recognize what  is  tragically
lacking in our  own  dysfunctional  relationships;  yet is
mysteriously  present in the relationships of  those true-
lovers  whom we cannot recognize as such for many  reasons
such as those pointed to above.

     7.  Our failures  to  distinguish clearly between the
contrasting logics suggested just below:                  

         a.  Letting go of our domineering  self-
             defensive behaviors; whereby we  could  learn
             to facilitate the true works of Love.

         b.  Letting go of the true works of Love, whereby
             we  can   facilitate  the  defense   of  "The
             Domination System" which we idolize as
             idolaters.

     8.  Not  clearly  seeing the difference  between  the
demands of domineering people who require that we  conform
to  the  demands of "The Domination System";  on  the  one
hand,  and  on  the  other hand  the  calls  of Love to be
sacrificially and prudently:  generous, hospitable,  open,
honest, civil, and wise --- as peacemakers.

     Drawing  distinctions as suggested above may  involve
accurate descriptions ---   but  it may not  involve  any:
judgments, punishments, or denigrations.   However, some
people  may  not  recognize  the  absence  of  the  latter
alienative kinds of  activities  ---   believing that such
alienative activities are inevitably present when accurate
and often embarrassing descriptions are offered.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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