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   %DISINTEGRATIVE UNHEALTHY DEMANDS PREVENT SHALOM 030522
%PEACE RELAX LOVE PLEASURE ACCEPTANCE MEANING DEVIL 030522
%CRITICISM DOMINATION SYSTEM GODS JUDGE ACCUSER WIN 030522
   %POWER CONCENTRATION IMPOSSIBLE ENJOY DESIDERATA 030522
 %DIE DEATH DENIAL CONSEQUENCES TURNING AWAY FOLLOW 030522
  %CONTENTIOUS WAR DEFENSIVE DESTRUCTIVE GOOD HATED 030522

     There  are many demands that we-often-make  that  in-
effect say-no-to; i.e., prevent:

     1.  Shalom,
       2.  Peace,
         3.  Health,
           4.  Relaxation,
             5.  Integration,
               6.  Integrity,
                 7.  Love,
                   8.  Pleasure,
                     9.  Acceptance, and
                       10.  Meaning.


     We  in-effect  say-no-to  all-of-the-above-desiderata
whenever we demand that we be:

     1.  In-Control,
       2.  Always-Invulnerable,
         3.  The-Most-Honored-One,
           4.  Beyond-Criticism,
             5.  The-Most-Dominant-One,
               6.  God's Spokesperson,
                 7.  God's Judge,
                   8.  God's Accuser,
                     9.  The-Most-Power-Full-One,
                       10.  Recognized as Being-Perfect.

     By-making-the-above-demands  we   make-it-impossible-
for-us to enjoy-the-above-listed-desiderata.

     Those are the-tragic-effects of our-demands.

     When  we  demand-that-the-effects-of-our-demands-stop
---   before  we-stop-making-the-demands  ---   we-commit-
suicide; i.e., we die.

     We  die  when  we demand that we-ourself be  able  to
enjoy   with-integrity  what   we-together   cannot-enjoy-
together-with-integrity.   We cannot enjoy  the desiderata
with  integrity  ---  if we refuse to be  integrated  with
others  who  are "different";  i.e.,  if we refuse  to  be
together-with-integrity.

     It  is  important  to recognize  that  when  we  make
demands which in-effect say no-to:

           1.  Shalom,
             2.  Peace,
               3.  Health,
                 4.  Relaxation,
                   5.  Integration,
                     6.  Integrity,
                       7.  Love,
                         8.  Pleasure,
                           9.  Acceptance, and
                             10.  Meaning.

     The consequent absence of the above ---  leads  to us
turn to  the  following as disintegrative substitutes  for
the above realities which are missing:

     1.  Contentiousness,
       2.  Preparing-for-war,
         3.  Being-domineering,
           4.  Always-being-defensive,
             5.  Being willing to be destructive,
               6.  Appearing to be "good",
                 7.  Excommunicating evil people,
                   8.  Punishing evil people,
                     9.  Rejecting evil people,
                       10.  Cynicism and denigrations.

     The absence of the-essential-foundations for personal
and  communal  integrity,   health,   openness,   honesty,
intimacy and the freedom to be safely vulnerable ---   has
devastating consequences --- in the absence of true lovers
who  have the power to promote healing.    We need to take
note  of what essential foundations are absent ---  before
we  prematurely start building right upon the sands  which
are  near the turbulent ocean water in the days  before  a
hurricane storm hits with full force.

     There  are many things which it is safe to  tolerate.
However, it is not safe to tolerate demands by domineering
people that they not be criticized for neglecting to  give
an  appropriate  amount  of attention  to  some  essential
foundation  for  both  person and communal  integrity  ---
because  they  are compulsively focused upon some  one  or
very  few  desiderata  ---   to the  exclusion  of  giving
adequate attention to others.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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