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%SPILLING OUR SECRETS DOMINEERING OPEN HONEST DEVIL 030517
%TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY PERFECT PERSONAL COMMUNAL LOVER 030517
%FORCE COERCION TRUTH GRACIOUS PERSONAL INTEGRITIES 030517
   %COMMUNAL SANCTUARIES RECONCILING HEALING DEMAND 030517
%READY WILLING ABLE DISCERN UNDERSTAND ACCEPT GOODS 030517

     It is generally good to be open and honest.  But must
we be totally open and honest with the "Secret Police"  of
"The  Domination System"?    Is total openness and honesty
always the way toward facilitating and promoting  personal
and communal integrity?

     It is  one thing to act and speak  in  ways which are
dishonest.    It  is  another thing to act  and  speak  in
domineering  ways  to try to force domineering people   to
see  things  our way.    How is one to draw  the  boundary
between  speaking and acting in domineering ways (to force
domineering people to see things our way) and speaking and
acting while trying to be open  and honest in gracious and
reconciling ways?

     Love  does  not demand that we force  people  to  see
truth,  as we see truth.  Some of what we see as truth ---
is  a  mortal  threat to domineering  supporters   of "The
Domination  System".     We cannot in a simplistic way  be
totally open and honest  about such threatening truths ---
without ourselves becoming domineering people!

     There  are some truths which domineering  people  are
not ready to understand as truths ---  no matter how  hard
we  try to try  to be open and  honest about such  truths.
Our responsibility  to be open and honest is  thus limited
---   by  domineering  people's  limited  willingness  and
ability  to discern truths which they fear.  We   are  NOT
likely  to promote either personal or  communal  integrity
by   trying  to  force on domineering people   the  truths
which  they   are  not ready,   willing  and/or  able   to
discern in any  truthful way.    Communicating to them our
"hidden" truths may be impossible, and attempting to do so
forcefully ---  may not be helpful.   Being domineering is
not helpful when it comes to sharing difficult truths!

     It  is  not  being truthful to accept at  face  value
questions   which   coerce  one   into   accepting   false
assumptions ---   thereby imposing bias upon  any response
which  does  not challenge the framing  of  the  question.
Often the questions which are framed by domineering people
do not leave open the possibility of responding in any way
which  reveals  the important truths which pertain to  the
evident   reason   for  framing   the   biased   question.
Domineering   people  resist  having   their   assumptions
challenged.     They make it difficult to respond to their
questions  in ways  which reveal the truth.   They  demand
that  we  respond  in ways which shows respect  for  their
collusive games of mutual self deception.

     When  dealing  with domineering people we need to  be
constantly  on  guard  against becoming like them ---   in
our efforts  to transcend and subvert their life-style. We
cannot hope to be honest --- if we deal with them, as they
deal with us!
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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