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%DIFFERENCES ACCEPTANCE CIRCUMSTANCE SITUATIONS SIN+030411
%EXCLUSIVE HOSPITABLE INCLUSIVE CLUB MARRIAGE DEVIL+030411
   %RELATIONSHIPS FELLOWSHIP SANCTUARY CHURCH GANGS+030411
%INSIDERS OUTSIDER OPEN HONEST DIALOGUE LISTEN HARK+030411
%OFFENSE DISAPPOINTMENT EXPECTATION CONFORMITY GOOD 030411

     What are the differences between the following  kinds
of  "acceptance"?     In what ways do they  differ?    How
do  they  often  differ from each other?     In  different
circumstances/contexts?  Consider "acceptance" into:

     1.  An EXCLUSIVE club, church or neighborhood?

     2.  A HOSPITABLE club, church or neighborhood?

     3.  An INCLUSIVE club, church or neighborhood?

     4.  An INCLUSIVE group of friends and/or neighbors?

     5.  An exclusive marriage or intimate relationship?

     6.  An open marriage or intimate relationship?

     One way in which "acceptance"  into a relationship or
pattern of  relationships may differ  --- is in  the level
of   openness   and   honesty   in    sharing    thoughts,
feelings,  desires,  hopes, intentions, fears,  pleasures,
anxieties, etc.

     A second way in which acceptance into a  relationship
or  pattern   of  relationships may  differ  ---   is  how
hospitable the "insiders" are toward "outsiders".

     A third way --- is how concerned "insiders" are about
being   rejected   and  made  "outsiders". Is "acceptance"
conditional?   If so,  what are the conditions?   Are  the
conditions  publicly and honestly spelled out?    Are they
secret?    Tacit?       Is   there integrity  in  how  the
conditions   are enforced?     Does how the conditions are
enforced   promote both personal and  communal  integrity?
What punishments are threatened and/or used?

     It  is important to note whether or not there  is  an
unconditional acceptance into "dialogue";  or, is a person
likely  to  be excluded from "dialogue"  because of  their
failure  to conform to  tacit rules of "propriety".     Is
one's    own    personal   embarrassment,    offense    or
disappointment ---   accepted as a  legitimate reason  for
rejecting or excluding a person who is seen as the "cause"
of the personal embarrassment, offense or disappointment?

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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